A church sign in Springfield, MO said:  "America, bless God!"

A church sign I saw in Dripping Springs, Texas: "If you are looking for a
sign from God, this is it"

Sign seen in deli in Washington State:  “What a friend we have in cheeses!”

Up at the head table in the cafeteria, one of the nuns had placed a big
bowl of bright red, fresh, juicy apples. Beside the bowl, she placed a
note which read, "Take only one. Remember, God is watching."  At the other
end of the table was a bowl full of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies,
still warm from the oven. Beside the bowl, a little note scrawled in a
child's handwriting which read, "Take all you want - God's watching the

The famous Olympic skier Picabo (pronounced Peek-A-Boo) Street is not just
an athlete, she is a nurse. She currently works at the Intensive Care Unit
of a large metropolitan hospital. She is not permitted to answer the
telephone, however, as it caused simply too much confusion when she would
answer the phone and say --Picabo, ICU.

Gardening Rule:  When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing
a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it.  If it comes out of the
ground easily, it's a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a

Observation at a daycare: An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other

If quitters never win and winners never quit, then who is the person who
said, "Quit while you're ahead?"

Get the last word in:  Apologize.

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day;  Teach that person to
use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather.  It pays no attention to

Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars & a
substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire but it takes a whole
box to start a barbecue?
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