The tragic events of Michael Jackson's arrest, which have broken the heart of all like me who know him, are an indictment not just of a man, but of a culture. America is increasingly becoming the land of damaged celebrity. But who is to blame for the fall of so many "heroes"?

Many accuse Michael Jackson of living in a world of fantasy. But superstars live in a world not of their own creation, but of our creation. Our worship of celebrities has gone from a pastime to a devotion, from a form of recreation to a form of veneration, from entertainment to religion.

Detached as we are from G-d and estranged from lofty pursuits, we have invented new gods here on earth. Where once people were awed by the heavenly stars, today they prostrate themselves before movie stars. Where once man pondered the secrets of the Universe, we today seek to uncover the enigma of Michael Jackson. Is it surprising, then, that the objects of this worship begin to believe that they have a right to make up and live by their own rules, even when it becomes completely ruinous?

Many believe that it is drugs and failed relationships that spoil celebrities. But I have discovered that it is sycophantic friends who are the worst poison of all. When I was close to Michael between 1999 and 2001, I tried to convey to him that famous or not, he must incorporate the basic ingredients of a healthy life, and that among these are time spent with family, involvement with a spiritual community, and being prepared to take criticism.

When he mentioned to me that his greatest wish was to promote the welfare of children, I told him he could only do so if he attained a modicum of credibility. This meant never being alone with children who were not his, meeting and learning from respected child-development and education experts, and speaking at serious rather than sensationalistic events.

I introduced him to Elie Wiesel, Shimon Peres, and Prof. Stanley Greenspan, one of America's foremost child-rearing authorities. We lectured at Carnegie Hall and Oxford University. And when Martin Bashir's people asked to do a documentary, I told Michael he'd be crazy to accept because the last thing he needed was to be more famous. He needed dignity rather than celebrity, and I advised him instead to accept an invitation to speak at Harvard.

But by this time my influence with Michael was waning. There was tension between us because of his resistance to making major modifications in his life that would have brought positive change, and rather than be supported, I was being undermined by managers and apparatchiks who accused me of diminishing his star power by making him too available. What really upset them was when I pushed Michael to publicly distribute books to poor children in Newark. I knew how much Michael loved children, so this puzzled me. But I was lectured to in Michael's hotel suite by his manager who said, "Shmuley, you want to make Michael normal. What you don't understand is that he's famous because he's not normal."

Humans are not gods, and when the public expects them to be gods, they must conceal or dismiss their humanity in an effort not to appear to be ordinary. It is against this backdrop that much of Michael's bizarre behavior must be understood. But while some view Michael as the most obvious example of an irresponsible celebrity, and he must indeed take responsibility for his actions, I believe that people like Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera, whose antics have sexualized our children, are not far behind. The American public thought it was funny as we watched the Osbournes make up their own rules about how to run a family. But when their son checked into drug rehab, many of us stopped laughing.

Of course, while Michael must ultimately accept responsibility for his serious mistakes, I pray that he is not guilty of the charge of molestation as it would mean that the boy, whom I met at Neverland along with his parents, has not been harmed. It would also be a terrible tragedy to see Michael, or any other person, destroy his or her life.

Still, I find it surprising that a society that reads Us Weekly, People, and Hello! magazines, and engages in endless celebrity gossip, could ask seriously why certain parents allowed their unaccompanied children to visit one of the world's most famous people at Neverland. I will not judge those parents. But I will say that had they never allowed their children to stay over, and had Michael understood that it is completely immoral and unacceptable for a child to share your bed, no matter how innocent you claim your intentions to be, we would not have witnessed the terrible spectacle of a man who once inspired us all being led away in handcuffs.

The time has come for "ordinary" people as well as our celebrities to understand that we all have to live by rules.

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