My husband and I can understand one another seamlessly, without a passing word, yet at other times, we can exhaust ourselves throwing words back and forth across a communication gap the size of Bryce Canyon.How can we aim for more seamless communication?

Good communicators use what I call, spiritual consciousness. They use it to detect the underlying emotions and attitudes that ultimately affect communication. Whether we are with someone we know well, or with a stranger, our spiritual consciousness clues us in on what level to speak at and what tone to use.

Spiritual consciousness reveals a multi-dimensional awareness. We are less prone to being hurt or duped, because we can feel the true intent behind the words.

For example, angry words, flooded with honesty, are taken seriously, while sweet words, hiding lust, are dismissed.

Seamless communication results when we realize the same words have different meanings for different people.

When we fostered children, I noticed their attitude toward love was different from mine. I grew up with loving parents whereas they grew up with neglectful abusive parents. To say, I love you, was poor communication.

This spiritual insight led me to behave and speak unique to the situation. For example, when I saw a child hugging the cat peacefully, I’d say, “You make me as happy as the cat makes you.”

Good communicators also discern the hierarchy of the emotions and attitudes.

Because the levels of peacefulness, fear, patience, and arrogance fluctuate dramatically throughout the days, it helps to discern the pecking order of current emotions.

Using my spiritual consciousness, I can detect when love outranks bossiness or embarrassment and ask my husband, “Hey, when you’re at the store, could you please pick me up some tampons?” The communication doesn’t fall flat but comes full circle and life goes on.

What about the times when communication gets dropped?

Spiritual consciousness sheds light on truth. Maybe the silence provides an opportunity for humility. For example, after a lack of communication from a business manager, I politely asked for feedback, and feedback I received. Although it was unfair and hard to swallow, I did take it in. After calming myself down, I made a slight adjustment in my writing style. Communication resumed and business continued.

Correct words and body language are important in communication. However, going one step further with spiritual consciousness, we find an increase in seamless communication. It results from the interaction of spiritual attitudes such as awareness, compassion, honesty, and so on, without being distracted by anger, malice, unawareness, or arrogance.

For more from Cheryl Petersen, visit her blog Everyday Spirituality.

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