Texting is Ruining Your Love Life l Tex Messaging in Relationships

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We hear of people getting into accidents while texting and how can we forget the one unlucky chick who fell into a fountain because she was glued to her phone while relaying text messages. Another woman in New Jersey was captured on video dropping at least 6-feet through an open cellar door while texting. Although some of these are funny, some may end up with a serious bodily injury. Still, the dangers of texting go beyond falling into a fountain or descending into a cellar entrance. It could be annihilating your relationships in the process. Why? Men and women approach communication conversely and they never seem to converge when we want them to and texting is not improving things. It's getting in the way of your life and more importantly your love relationships. Women view communication as a way to share and it's open-ended. For guys, it's pretty simple. They want the facts and texting won't acquire their admiration. If you don't believe texting is driving a stake in the matters of the heart, examine the following reasonings to curtail the habit.

It Hinders Communication

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People got to know the person they were dating and their family and friends because face-to-face communication was the only way to progress relationships. But this sounds far-fetched for our modern world. Today we rely on texting to foster a stronger bond and it's not going to work because men and women are distinct in the way they interact. Women, as mentioned, reported a higher quality connection with their partners, but men who texted often use it as a way to distance themselves in a connection or disentangle themselves from progressing into a deeper relationship. Texting each other to replace this time is futile. Researchers discovered that 90 percent of couples reported to use text to communicate with their partners and they witnessed a reduction in the durability of their relationships for the long haul.

It Makes You Look Desperate

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If you're relying on texting and not actually talking with the person, you may look like a stalker. Maybe they don't call as often as you like or maybe you're one of the lucky ones and you don't have to worry about this. But don't make them regret giving you their number because they don't text you back fast enough and they don't go by your schedule. Also, the texts of "Good morning" and "Sweet dreams" gets annoying after awhile unless you've been together for a long time. This is a big turn off during the beginning of a relationship, so cool off your jets. If you're the type of person who can't stop themselves, start thinking about his flaws and how it's just a temporary fling. This could help change your perspective.

It Makes You Spontaneous

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People text without reflection. They do it when they're drinking, angry, sad, happy or when they're in a rush. Once the text is sent there is no getting it back and you may undermine your relationship by doing this. Then there is the famed autocorrect. Autocorrect has a way of making things super uncomfortable and may lead to confusion and anger. A word may be autocorrected into slang and could lead to replies like "Huh?" or "Are you drunk?" This can make the other person irate and they could put you on silence after several of these incidents. Additionally, this can give a false and negative impression of you and your intentions in the relationship.

It Causes Disputes

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When we get mad at people or don't want to deal with them, we start ignoring them in the flesh and via text. The best way to do this is using text avoidance to circumvent them and to dodge any unpleasant discussion. But here is the problem, when things aren't solved, they start to fester. "We hold on to the hurt in an attempt to remind ourselves and others of the injustice we’ve experienced in the hopes that someone will save us and restore what we’ve lost," explained Dr. Gregory Popcak, who directs the Pastoral Solutions Institute. Avoiding problems or pretending you don't see a text will add more anger to an already unstable situation. If there is not an attempt to reconcile, why continue playing games by ignoring them? You are skulking behind the mask of texting or not texting in this case.

It Can be Rude

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Early on in a relationship the last thing you want to do is spend time texting other people while you're dating. It's so rude and vexatious and it shows you don't have couth. For the most part, texting, checking social media or talking on the phone is not allowed unless it's an emergency or if you work in a profession that requires an immediate answer. You should be giving the person your undivided attention. This might be overlooked in the beginning, but your behavior will be called out and it looks like you're too self-absorbed. Also, this sends a sign that you are not digging the person, want another date or don't want to be disturbed. What if they did that to you? You wouldn't want to see them again, so don't do the same thing.

It Allows You to Hide

People who lean on texting hide behind their words and could be creating a false narrative. Unless you start to hang out more, you will never discover the truth of what a person is like and even then, it's hard to tell. The quality of the conversation can be hard to gauge because you can't observe their expressions or mannerisms. "People can hide in a text message," Bela Gandhi, the founder of Smart Dating Academy revealed to cnn.com. When you talk to someone on the phone or meet them that's when their genuine personality begins to surface. "Hearing someone's voice tells you if they are positive or negative, or enthusiastic about life. The voice conversation is very important," she added. If you want to know what is going on in the relationship, start making a point to physically connect to uncover who they are.