Six Ghosts of Boyfriends Past

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The Internet just informed me that my ex is engaged. You'd think with modern technology advances, Facebook would know what not to show me by now. Even so, this information isn't exactly a shock or a dagger to the heart. It's more of an "Oh. OK then. Good for him." Years ago I wouldn't have seen it that way, though. But what is dating for, if not to teach us what we don't want? Each special person to cross our paths leaves a mark, a lesson -- sometimes in the form of scars, other times as fond memories. Yet in the end they play the same role -- they teach. These are a few of those individuals who have crossed my path and the lessons they have now left in their absence -- some fresh and still painful, others long past healed.

The First Love and/or Love of Your Life

This person teaches you more about love than anyone else in your life -- in the time since, and probably in the time to come as well. They were your first everything, and at the time you imagined they would be your last as well. The world began and ended with their presence, and you never imagined they would cease to be there. But as it does, life started to happen. You grew up, grew apart. One year blended into the next, and eventually you realized you were together out of comfort and normalcy, not love or passion. The ending hurt like hell, but you both knew it was the right thing. If you're lucky, you're still in each other's lives and will always love one another, just in a different way.

The Lesson: Just one? No way. This experience teaches you what love feels like, what passion is, what desire is fueled by. It is your introduction into the world of love.

The Rebound

This guy makes his first appearance after your relationship with The First Love ends. After years of a relationship, you're suddenly thrown back into the dating world and have no idea how to navigate it. This guy is there as a shoulder to lean on, someone to vent to. But gradually you begin to entertain the idea of more, even though a little voice is screaming "No, don't ruin the friendship!" But you give it that chance you think it deserves. However, something just doesn't quite click and it fizzles out.

The Lesson: Be content learning to be single. Just because you were in a relationship for a long time doesn't mean you need to jump into another one. Take time to find out who you really are without someone by your side.