When I tell people that I have been with my husband since our early high school years, they tend to look at me like I’m insane. Their awkward look continues as I announce proudly that we will be married for ten years in just a few months. So yes, if you’re trying to do the math in your head – I am 30-years-old and I have been with my husband for just about half my life. And I wouldn’t change a single moment.
Which takes me to my next topic of discussion – I often do not wear a wedding ring and of course because this is not the norm people often think I’m weird. It’s not because I am looking for attention elsewhere or want a bigger ring – because I love my husband and have the most beautiful heart shaped cut bling that I will cherish and keep for the rest of my life. Moreover, I have learned through our many years together and of course by growing up that a ring doesn’t change anything.
I remember being engaged at the naïve age of 20 and yearning for a big rock on my finger because somewhere in my shallow self absorbed mind, I thought that a giant diamond would keep me status quo. So when we picked out my wedding band, I opted for a piece that was much shinier than the average silver band. And I will say I adore that little gem but as the years went by and I grew up and ultimately discovered who I really am – I realized bling doesn’t matter and honestly just isn’t practical.
During our 10 years of marriage we have given birth to two beautiful little girls – a two and five year old. And we want one more. I have now discovered that dinner doesn’t come in a Stouffer’s lasagna box. I have figured out that with a family of four, I have to do at least one load of laundry a day to stay above water. I find myself constantly cleaning whether it is my kids’ bums, dirty floors, plates, toys from an imaginary session of some sort, or perhaps a meal that didn’t quite make it into my little ones’ tummies and opted for a crash landing on the floor. And I am constantly using hand sanitizer and baby wipes on a regular basis.
So in a nutshell, a wedding ring is not practical because I find myself constantly taking it off multiple times throughout the day. And since I can barely remember where I put my glasses, 99% of the time, trying to recall where I placed my expensive bling is a challenge. And to add to my list of reasons – I am a writer so I sit at a desk and type all day long – the constant shifting of my ring is annoying and most days my ring sits as a display on my desk.
Moreover, I am not the superficial 20-year-old that I was ten years ago. I don’t care about labels anymore – I would much rather carry my $15 cross body versus an expensive Michael Kors. I take pride in providing for my children rather than needing the expensive pair of heels to match my outfit.
I am married to my soul mate. He is the one person that gets me through and through and I could not be happier. And ring or no ring on my finger, I get to spend the rest of my life with this amazing man. So who cares if I opt to wear a wedding ring because I want to be comfortable? I do appreciate that ten plus years ago my husband went out of his way to get me a beautiful ring, but what I am more appreciative of is that our love is powerful and that no ring or words can truly describe or represent it. It’s something I carry in my heart and that is much much more!