Fatal Mistakes That You Are Making in Your Marriage l How You Are Hurting Your Marriage l Ways to Help Your Relationship

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There is a feeling of being unbalanced and unsettled. As you look at your photos of a more happier time, you wonder what is going on with your relationship? Maybe we stopped giving our spouse the best or maybe you both became complacent and stopped caring. We all make mistakes in our relationships and most of the time they are not fatal. When we do make errors, we often overlook them and never correct our course. Marriage is hard all around. It's easy to dwell on the bad when you don't know where to start. Laura Wasser, celebrity divorce lawyer shared her thoughts on the matter with the Huffington Post. "If couples can weather the storms, communicate and accept that marriage is not always wine and roses they are far more likely to stay together.” Sorry for that bad news, but truthfully, a relationship is never sunshine every day and the sex will not always be like it used to be. However, if you are wondering what is going on with your marriage, you can reset your course by avoiding these fatal mistakes.

You Disrespect Them

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Do you disrespect your spouse? If you have to get the last word in no matter what it may be, you are creating a climate of disrespect. Dr. Phil McGraw said disagreements happen in life but "if you make your relationship a competition, that means your spouse has to compete. Allow for your partner to retreat with dignity. Arguments should be temporary, so don't let them get out of hand." Maybe you're the type of person where winning matters more than having peace. Well, you could be in for a surprise and it could be divorce court. Be realistic if you are the perpetrator in this and turn a corner by not trying to win arguments all the time and have your own way. People are only human and you will fight. But take the high road next time and see what happens. You both might begin to like each other again.

You Don't Communicate

Marriages fail because we don’t communicate well and it seems like a simple thing to do. We may be passive aggressive, avoid conflict or withdrawal when it comes to communicating with our partner. Let's say that yelling is the way that you communicate. This releases a lot of tension and emotion. You might have your audience's attention, but it will never end well. "It sets the stage for an exchange of heated emotions rather than clearly communicated words. Even if your emotion is the message you need to share, a purely emotional exchange can easily transform into an exhausting, destructive habit," therapist Erika Krull explained on psychcentral.com. She is correct, but you might be a person who withdraws from communication and that can be just as serious. The more we communicate with kindness and openness, we are fostering a positive environment to communicate in our relationships.

You Are Selfish

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We are taught that our own happiness is the crux of our worlds and if we become unbalanced then we invite selfishness into our lives. In a society that is all about attainment and self-preservation, being selfish is acceptable. When we believe that our own joy is more important than our spouse’s feelings, boy we are playing with fire. Maintaining harmony in a marriage is essential and being selfish allows all sorts of junk in. It impacts how you talk to each other, how you live together and how you both handle responsibilities together. Jesus taught us that being first is being last. Instead of wanting to be served, we must serve. Instead of trying to save our lives, we must lose them. "We must love our spouses) as much as we love ourselves. In short, if we want to defeat selfishness, we must give up, give in and give all." Family Life suggested.

You Cheated

If there is cheating in a marriage, that is a deal breaker for many! Cheating is deadly for a reason as it breaks trust and trust takes a lot of time to build between people. Lies come in all forms so stay on guard and protect your marriage by being honest with yourself and your spouse. If there are thoughts of going outside the marriage, rethink your position. The grass is not always greener as no one is perfect, and you will gain another imperfect person. Leaving your marriage for another is just covering up the problems that you already have in your current relationships. Not only this, but infidelity destroys people's lives. If this is you, seek counsel before making a decision that could be fatal to your marriage.

You Don't Have Sex

Complacency stinks and if this is your sex life, you better do something to add some sizzle. Once we snag our mate, we are in the clear, right? Wrong! This is deceptive because sex is part of marriage. If fatigue, kids, career and stress is impeding in your relationship, carve out time for each other. Your spouse needs to feel loved and connected. Psychotherapist Tina Tessina, Ph.D. said to aim for sex once a week as the "intimacy keeps you glued together. It's what you need in order to nurture your connection to your spouse. You'll be a lot happier with each other and feel more cared about if you're regularly having sex." Go on a date night or make arrangements to get away together to reconnect again. If you are unsure of the reasons intimacy is missing in your marriage, begin asking questions and talk to your spouse about it.

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