8 Ways to Know You’re a Good Spouse

When we get married, our lives change forever. And while we have jobs, a household to run and maybe even children to raise, the relationship still requires all the commitment, attention and love we can give it. The time you spend alone is limited. How can busy spouses build a sound, lasting marriage? It takes a lot of work. A good spouse is up for the challenge, a bad spouse won’t be. A good partner is committed to the marriage, through the good and the bad. A good partner is also committed to relationship success. The great thing is that we can do much to increase our chances of having terrific marriages – marriages that are fulfilling and exciting, rich with meaning, joy and love – is by fully investing in our marriages. Here are eight ways to know you’re a good spouse. Few things can bring more joy to your spouse’s life than a partner who is good to them.

You actively listen to your spouse.

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Solid, healthy communication is essential in any relationship because it’s the pathway to intimacy. When we talk and share our feelings, we feel closer to others and get our needs met. However, talking is only half of the equation. The other half is listening. Without the capacity for good listening, communication will break down. A good spouse actively listens to their partner, and is engaged when their partner is expressing a concern or need. When there’s something they want to communicate to you, you stop whatever you’re doing to give them your gull attention. Even if there’s a point you want to bring up when they’re talking, you make it a point to not interrupt your spouse so that they are truly heard.

You value intimacy.

A relationship needs intimacy and a good spouse values it in their marriage. Regardless of whether it’s a physical intimacy or emotional intimacy, your relationship will break down without it. A good spouse is responsive on many levels: physically, emotional and verbally. They are personal, acknowledging and outwardly demonstrative of feelings of warmth and tenderness. They are open to giving and receiving affection. If you can be physically and emotionally intimate with your partner, you are setting up the foundation for a long relationship with your partner. Without the emotional and physical bond between partners, there’s nothing to hold onto when things get rough and both partners find themselves feeling as though they’ve got no anchor to keep them safe when things get rocky.

You respect their independence (and have your own independence).

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Maintaining individuality is critical to establishing a long-lasting, healthy relationship. There should be equal efforts between attending to oneself and making the relationship work. A good spouse values their partner’s interests separate from their own. They are supportive of their significant other’s goals in life and their individuality. They are also sensitive to their significant other’s wants, desires and feelings, and believe they are equal to their own. A good spouse is also respectful of their partner’s distinct personal boundaries, while at the same time remaining close physically and emotionally.