When we feel emotionally threatened in our marriage, we often build walls. These walls aren’t physical, but relational, expressed in body language, words and attitudes that help us feel safe. Emotional distance and withdrawal will cause problems. The walls that we put up close us off from our spouse and keep us from accessing the deepest parts of their hearts and minds. The wall might be built by belittling, using sarcasm, criticizing or becoming verbally defensive. Some people withdraw through aggression and jealousy. Others can be controlling and selfish. These actions may cause responses of loss, hurt and anger. If you or your spouse is emotionally checking out or withdrawing and prone to stonewalling, it can seem like there is no point in investing in the relationship anymore.