7 Sneaky Traps that will Kill Your Marriage

Shutterstock.com

The start of married life can feel like a fairytale but once you’ve been married for any length of time, you soon realize that you need more than Disney’s version of true love to make your marriage last. Being happily married doesn’t just happen. Strong, healthy, happy marriages take a lot of work. Our attitudes and behaviors truly matter. Here are seven sneaky traps that will kill your marriage. These destructive behaviors are perfectly designed to undo the bonds of closeness and destroy your marriage. It’s crucial to be able to spot these issues as soon as possible in order to save your marriage. If you or your spouse fall into these negative patterns in the way you relate to one another, you will not only end up in a rut, but also hurt one another and your marriage.

Emotional Withdrawal

Shutterstock.com

When we feel emotionally threatened in our marriage, we often build walls. These walls aren’t physical, but relational, expressed in body language, words and attitudes that help us feel safe. Emotional distance and withdrawal will cause problems. The walls that we put up close us off from our spouse and keep us from accessing the deepest parts of their hearts and minds. The wall might be built by belittling, using sarcasm, criticizing or becoming verbally defensive. Some people withdraw through aggression and jealousy. Others can be controlling and selfish. These actions may cause responses of loss, hurt and anger. If you or your spouse is emotionally checking out or withdrawing and prone to stonewalling, it can seem like there is no point in investing in the relationship anymore.

Indifference

Shutterstock.com

Sometimes, the killer of marriage isn’t a lack of trust, a lack of communication or arguing with your significant other. It’s simple indifference. When you’re indifferent in your marriage, you don’t feel much of anything. Your partner might say everything is fine, but there is no sense of real connection. Nothing stirs excitement anymore. While they may say they are fine, they have no interest in doing anything. Indifference is not caring what the other person does in a relationship. There are no arguments, so everything may seem okay on the surface but that’s far from the case. Beware of indifference in a relationship. If your automatic response to your significant other’s question always seems to be, “Whatever,” that may be a sign that it’s creeping on you.

Escapism

Escapism is the tendency to seek distraction and relief from unpleasant realities, especially by seeking entertainment or engaging in fantasy. When some people are dealing with internal conflict in their marriage, they are ready to escape in any way they can. People often escape in different types of entertainment including: movies, books, daydreaming, video games, sports, online gaming and pornography. Many turn to escapism to remove themselves from the pain of their marriage and find a new form of fulfillment. The problem with escaping reality and seeking to be distracted is that while there is temporary satisfaction, your reality continues to worsen as you avoid and neglect your marriage.