Communication is obviously the key to any great relationship. There are some important principles to remember as you seek to communicate well with your spouse. First, make sure you are really listening to one another. We don’t really “hear” what another person is saying because we either react defensively or think only of what we want to say in response. Let your spouse know that you have heard them and understood their feelings. Secondly, learn how to wisely make your deepest needs known. Certainly do not bury your feelings, but learn to recognize and express what are really important issues and what are more minor.
Thirdly, avoid saying “You always…” or “You never…” Learn to express how actions make you feel (“When you do Y, it makes me feel Z”). Ask directly for forgiveness (“Will you forgive me?”), and respond with forgiveness (“Yes, I forgive you”). Holding hands when you talk helps break a cycle of anger. Finally, pray together - research has shown that couples who pray privately and regularly together have vastly more successful marriages.