6 Ways to Divorce Your Limitations in Marriage l Making a Relationship Last

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With all the ups and the downs that we go through in marriage, we may make a few mistakes along the way. Of course, these don't need to disastrous to the relationship, but they could cause problems. Marriage isn’t always about feeling good and living in a fantasy, it takes hard work. God wants to use the relationship to allow both of you to grow as a couple. Proverbs 27:17 explained it "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." If you are not sharpening each other, you are limiting each by your actions, decisions and possibly your words! "We come into marriage psychologically needy in that we all desire attention, acceptance, respect, appreciation, affirmation, comfort, encouragement, support, and understanding," psychologist Dr. Chris Thurman explained. All of us are vulnerable to the pitfalls that come with any relationship. We will examine preconceived ideas that you have about marriage and help you nullify false beliefs that are making it rocky. Here are 6 ways that you can divorce your limitations in your marriage.

You Can't Control Them

No matter how long you’re married or know someone, you will get on each other's nerves! Understand there will be issues, but work through them and stop trying to change them. Once we can accept that we can't control everything around us, it will be better down the road. If a situation is out of your control, let it go. In life, there will be circumstances that you won’t be able to manipulate with your mate, so pick your battles. When you start loving yourself more and really start getting rid of all the junk from the past, you will able to handle things better when they pop up. You need to pray and learn how to apply His Word to your situation and use more self-restraint when it comes to trying to control everything.

They Can't Meet All Your Needs

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Some people equate being in love and having a partner with having their needs met all their time. Okay, listen up--they can't fix you! Another human can't meet your needs 100 percent to the time. When you start adding kids, bills and other responsibilities to the mix, it will only get worse. Get real with yourself and know that your spouse can't be your all because you need your own identity. "When we have an expectation that a husband or wife fulfill us, we set ourselves up for disappointment, because no human being can satisfy another human being," said Mark Altrogge, a pastor and creator of the relationship website the Blazing Center. "To hope that another human can meet our needs is asking too much of anyone." If this sounds like you, really be honest with yourself on how you can find your individuality again.

Stop Selfishness

If you want to untangle your relationship from limitations and perhaps conflict, avoid the selfishness trap. Selfishness could be spending more time with friends rather than spending time with your spouse, spending money on yourself, or thinking about you all day long. These behaviors could make the other person feel unwanted and unimportant. The Bible warned us about being selfish. Philippians 2:3-4 explained that to "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others." Additionally, selfishness opens the door to disorder in life and in your marriage.

You Lack Vision

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Oh dear, both of you are not even on the same page as far as your dreams. It’s important that married couples have a shared vision. Making goals as a team will help keep the relationship more fluid and it will make you much stronger. Having a shared plan could relate to how you raise the kids, plan vacations, where to volunteer and how to save more money. In order to plan together and to move forward as a couple, work on spending time doing enjoyable activities that bring you both pleasure. Having a shared vision can also entail responsibilities. Shared chores rank as the third highest issue associated with a successful marriage – behind only faithfulness and good sex. "By means of discussion, negotiation, and written agreements they hammer out a plan that preserves fairness and equity in the way it defines roles and divides household tasks and responsibilities," Focus on the Family shared. All couples need a vision for their future as it acts as a compass. Remember, you're a team now.

Crush Jealousy

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Jealousy will slow any relationship down and perhaps even damage it. Things like fights, violence, suspicion and division start to invade your marriage and it may cause severe damage. If you are the one that struggles with this, admit that there are trust issues. Ask yourself: “Does my spouse give me a reason to be jealous?” You may find that it is your own insecurities that are contributing factors. Without trust you have nothing and unless you address this, through counseling, you could experience more than limitations, you could be served divorce papers. Also, keep the lines of communication open as this will help you discuss future issues and it allows each person to discuss their fears or anxieties.