When you look at your relationship, are you putting any energy, time, or motivation into your marriage? Sadly, it is common for marriages to crumble for this very reason. Here are 6 things you should be doing with your spouse that you probably are not.
Praying Together
How often are you praying with your spouse? Do you pray for your spouse? If you are not actively praying for your spouse or praying together, it is time to make a change in your marriage. God is pleased when His children come together to pray to Him and pray for one another.
Paul tells us, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7). Encourage your spouse to pray with you. This will help build your relationship with one another, and with God.
Studying the Bible Together
Do you go to one Bible study and your spouse goes to another Bible study on Sunday morning? What might life look like if you started studying the Bible together? It might challenge certain aspects of your relationship, but it may also strengthen it. Take some time out of your schedule to spend time studying the Bible together.
If you ever have a question concerning your Bible study, you can ask your spouse. If your spouse doesn't know, you can search through commentaries and trusted websites. In this way, you will both grow in your relationship with God. This is a great way to enrich your marriage and bring you closer as a couple. Praise be to God for encouraging your marriage through His love!
Investing in One Another's Lives
Are you currently investing time in your spouse’s life? Are you interested in their work, friends, and overall life? Sadly, as the years go by, it can be common for spouses to lose interest in one another. Rather than falling into this trap, ask the Lord to help you strengthen your marriage. God will help you become more invested in your spouse’s life.
It should not be a struggle to become invested in your spouse’s life. Try to remember that your spouse is the person who you love most in this world besides God. It is true, you probably have experienced many struggles, but try to remember the original love you had with your spouse. This will encourage you to invest more time in your spouse’s life, to build them up, and deepen your relationship with them.
Supporting Their Hobbies & Goals
If your spouse is involved in a hobby, are you supportive of it? Or do you get mad at them for participating in their favorite hobby? For instance, if your spouse loves cycling, do you go cycling with them, watch their races, and support their recovery after a long ride? Sadly, many spouses are not even aware of one another's hobbies or goals.
Choose to get to know your spouse better and encourage their goals. Ask how you can help them. For example, if your spouse is trying to become healthier, help them cook healthy meals, exercise together, and get regular screenings at the doctor. This can help your spouse feel loved and valued, which ultimately will enrich your marriage.
Sharing Your Real Concerns
Many spouses feel like they cannot share their concerns with one another. They are afraid if they present a problem that their spouse will become upset with them. If this is how your spouse is currently feeling, talk with them. Share your own concerns and allow them to share their own. Bond over your concerns and see how you can help one another.
It is also important to present these worries to God (1 Peter 5:7). Sharing your concerns will strengthen your marriage. Even if this is something you have never done, it is important to start. With time, it will become second nature to share your concerns with your spouse, and they will feel comfortable sharing their concerns with you.
Extending Forgiveness
Paul tells us, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32). It is important to forgive all people, especially your spouse. Holding on to unforgiveness against your spouse will cause your marriage to deteriorate. You have to forgive as God has forgiven you.
Maybe your spouse said something hurtful to you or words were exchanged in anger. Choose to extend forgiveness to your spouse and talk matters out. Consider couples therapy if this is something you are interested in. Talk with your spouse about what happened, involve God in your discussion, and reach a point of forgiveness. It could be that your spouse is also having a hard time forgiving you. By holding out the olive branch, it can make a world of difference.
Many spouses are not supporting their significant others in the ways they should. Rather than being a source of support, they are ignoring prayer, group Bible study time, investing time in one another’s lives, supporting one another’s hobbies, sharing concerns, and extending forgiveness. Making the necessary changes can radically change your marriage (and your life) for the better.
