Marriage is a lot like a house. It requires a firm and lasting foundation. While so many marriages are grounded in love, as they should be, love isn’t enough. For a relationship to be healthy and thrive, the two have to be willing to put the work into it. Gentlemen, this includes the times when your wife fails you. To move past this hurdle, you will have to form a deeper understanding of each other. This will increase the bond in your marriage and help it to flourish again. Remember, even the strongest marriages will have moments of failure. That’s ok. It’s what we do to move out of these stages that dictates the strength and health of the relationship. Here are six things to do when your wife fails you.
Let go of the need to be right.
When your wife fails you, you’re going to want her to know your pain. You’re also going to feel the need to be right and in control. You need to let this need for control go. If you’re having a conversation with your wife, and it becomes a little contentious, take a step back. Contrary to what you may be feeling at the time, you don’t need to be right. Marriage thrives on strong communication. Let go of the need to say, “I’m right; you’re wrong.” When your spouse fails you or does something, you can’t stand, try handling the situation without resentment or complaint. Let them know you have the ability to listen to them right where you are. This will help your partner see that communication doesn’t have to go so left. It may even help them be more open to listening to the things you have to say.
Take the time to bond again.
There may be some distance between you and your partner right now. It may feel like the worst time to reconnect, but the timing couldn’t be better. Take time to plan outings so that you guys can reconnect to get to know each other even better. Date nights are an excellent opportunity to reconnect. Starting a new project is another way. If you guys are into DIY, begin some renovations inside and outside of the home. Let your wife know how much you value your special time together. This will be a signal of how much she’s appreciated. It will also help her feel incredibly close to you. The time you spend together matters so much.
It’s vital that you and your wife both feel loved and valued. This is why gratitude is so important in marriage. Trying to telling your wife “thank you” at least once a day. Show your wife that you don’t take your relationship for granted. There are several things you can try. Maybe you can start by keeping a journal of the loving deeds your partner does. Also, try leaving special notes around the house and text messages throughout the day, letting her know how much you appreciate and value her. You can also show your gratitude when you’re together on a walk or riding in the car together. You can start by telling her one thing they are grateful for. Displaying your gratitude will help your relationship thrive.
Turn back the clock.
After someone has failed in the relationship, it’s hard not to think about the good ole days. It’s hard not to want to go back to the honeymoon phase of the marriage. The reality is, the spark will dim at times. It’s unrealistic to think that the relationship will always be on a high. This is why it’s so important to turn back the clock so you can reignite the passion in your relationship. While you can do something grand, you can also do really small acts. These small acts will create new emotional connections and simply show how much you care. Some of these actions will bring you back to the honeymoon phase of the relationship and remind you of the warm memories you shared. It’s nice being reminded why you got into the relationship in the first place.
Remember the little things.
Pay attention to the things your wife has going on. Does she have a big meeting coming up? Is there a project she’s dreading having to complete? Is she concerned about an upcoming parent-teacher conference? If failure has shown up in your relationship, it may be time to reconnect about the small details of her daily life. Connecting about these things regularly is a great way to propel your marriage forward. If you know that your spouse is going through something difficult, it may not be the time to remind them about something that’s bothering you. Check-in on her and see how that meeting or project turned out. It will show her just how much you care.
Don’t be afraid to display your love.
Nothing is wrong with a little love and affection, especially after a rough patch in the marriage. Do little things to remind your wife how much you care about them. It’s also ok to show a little PDA. Smile. Hold each other’s hands; even put your arms around each other. These subtle actions can help her feel how close you are connected. It also shows that when the chips are down, you still love her deeply.
Strong marriages take a lot of work but putting the necessary time in pays off tremendously. If you want your relationship to flourish, especially after a rough patch, put these actions in motion. Some of them may be difficult to apply, but others will be easy. Remember, even the small things matter and help take your relationship to new heights. Applying them to your marriage can transform your relationship. Failure doesn't have to be an option.