Most individuals are aware of idols that can enter your marriage. These things could include money, affairs, or dishonesty. While these idols are often easily identifiable, there are also idols that are not as apparent. Being aware of these idols will help you and your spouse weed them out.
God created marriage as a beautiful thing (Genesis 2:24). Marriage is meant to last an entire lifetime. Therefore, ensure you and your spouse address any sneaky idols in your marriage and work together to heal the relationship. Pray over the matter, ask for the Lord’s help, and apply any advice from the Lord.
1. Pornography
Pornography is often sneaky because spouses watch it in private. Maybe they view it while they are on their lunch break or after you have gone to sleep. If you or your spouse is struggling with watching pornography, it is time to come clean. If you have a pornography problem or addiction, repent to the Lord, tell your spouse, and apologize. Reach out for support in the form of a marriage counselor and a spiritual advisor.
If your spouse is struggling with a pornography problem or addiction, start sharing your concerns with them. Pray for God to lead their heart away from this sin and back to Him. It might take some time before your spouse opens up to you or makes an effort to change, but do your best to pray to God, stay motivated to save your marriage, and be up front with your spouse. It is easy to give up on your spouse, but try your best to point them to Jesus in your actions and words.
2. Arguments Over Petty Matters
Another sneaky idol that can sneak into your marriage is arguments over petty matters. Yes, it can be frustrating if your spouse forgot to take out the garbage, but it doesn't need to escalate into an entire argument. Be kind in your communication with your spouse and avoid arguing, yelling, or belittling them.
Paul tells us, “Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, ‘children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.’ Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain” (Philippians 2:15-16).
3. The Comparison Game
The comparison game is when you compare your marriage or your spouse to someone else. Telling your spouse that you would like them better if they were someone else, looked like someone else (including celebrities), or acted like someone else will break them down. Stop idolizing the comparison game in your marriage and choose to accept your spouse as they are. They are your partner for life and you don't need to tear them down.
Tearing them down will only hurt them. Choose to love your spouse and care for them as God commands (Ephesians 5:25-33). Just as Jesus willingly died for us out of the love He has for us, you should be willing to do the same for your spouse. Avoid the comparison game and choose to love them with your entire heart.
4. Diet Culture
While this one might sound odd, diet culture is a common idol sneaking into marriages. One spouse will be completely consumed with their diet, weight, and body size to the point that they neglect their marriage. This is dangerous as it could cause your marriage to disintegrate. If you are spending more time at the gym than you are with your spouse, you have allowed a sneaky idol to come into your marriage.
Go against the grain and leave diet culture in the past. Your spouse means more to you than a diet. It would also be important to apologize to them as diet culture may have caused you to say hurtful things to them. These comments may have been about their weight, eating habits, or exercise habits. Take steps at repairing your marriage today by extending love, grace, and compassion.
5. Video Games/Online Gaming
It is becoming increasingly common for adults to play video games or online gaming in the modern world. While there is nothing wrong with games per say, it is a problem if it is infringing on your marriage. Are you spending more time gaming or with your spouse? If you find yourself spending more time playing video games than you are spending with your spouse, then you have a problem.
Take a break from the games and spend time with your spouse. Without a doubt, you will feel more fulfilled after spending time with your spouse. Start rebuilding your marriage and be intentional in your relationship. Go on date nights, do hobbies together, or cook dinner. Marriage takes work, you cannot hide from it and play games.
6. Girls' Nights/Boys' Nights
Are you spending more time with your friends or with your spouse? If you are spending more time with your friends at girls' nights or boys' nights, then you need to address the sneaky idol in the room. Be honest with God, your spouse, and yourself.
Yet again, there is nothing wrong with having a girls' night or a boys' night, but it is wrong if you are using it as a way to get away from your spouse. Invest in marriage counseling and consult the Lord. He will help your marriage to heal and become strong again.
Sneaky idols can destroy your marriage, but with the Lord's help, you and your spouse can overcome them. A few idols to watch out for is pornography, arguments over petty matters, the comparison game, diet culture, video gaming or online gaming, and girls' nights or boys' nights.
