A few weeks ago I overreacted when my husband sat down to play a computer game. I stomped. I was short with him. I certainly didn't feel frisky that night. But normally when Keith plays a game it doesn't bother me a bit - I waste time, too, after all! That particular night, though, we had just reunited after ten days apart. And when I'm alone, I get used to it. I cook what I want when I want. I watch Netflix marathons without feeling like I'm neglecting anybody. When he comes home, he crimps my style.
I put all that aside and determined to have a wonderful reunion. When he clicked on that computer instead, I thought, "If I have to get with the program, shouldn't he, too?" And my irritation grew. It wasn't what he was doing, though; it was that ten-day distance that made me a ticked-off wife waiting to erupt.
Quite often our irritation has little to do with our husbands, and everything to do with what's already going on in our lives. What would happen if we started scanning for these "irritation triggers" before they sent our marriages into a tailspin?