5 Ways to Stop Arguing with Your Spouse l Ways to Stop Fighting with a Spouse

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Are you the one always ready to take the gloves off and fight? Maybe you were on the debate team in school and relish going toe-to-toe with people on any given subject. This may have spilled into your personal life and the arguments with your spouse keep on mounting. The aftermath can leave you devastated, depressed, fatigued and unstable. Sometimes the arguments are so bad and frequent that your spouse may just shut down. The good news is everyone argues in a relationship, but on the flip side there might need to be damage control. You can interrupt the cycle with or without your spouse’s participation. Suggested ideas are walking away; going to bed mad, expressing love and letting things go should be considered. Boundaries need to be drawn as well. There are things that you should not tolerate. Emotional abuse, physical abuse and verbal abuse are red flags of potentially more serious things to come. If that is the case, seek support. If not, here are 5 things you can do to stop arguing.

Don't Use Attack Words

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Stop using words that feel like an attack. If you use the “I” statements, it will be less accusatory and you both might stop a tiff before it gets hot. Examples of “You” statements are “Stop doing that,” “You should,” or “You always” will put the person on the defense. The “You” accusations never work, it makes people feel guilty. Tone also matters. “If what you say doesn’t match your tone, then the message is usually not heard because mixed signals are given. Consistency is important in communication," Drexel University found. Play offense by eliminating the “You” when you feel an argument brewing and see what happens.

Go to Bed Mad

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We’ve been told that going to bed mad is not the correct course of action. However, relationship experts believe that resolving anger before you go to bed is not a good idea. Research showed that people who went to bed after a tiff where better equipped to handle the problem. The reason is that there is little time to diffuse and to get rid of negative emotions. We can't process it that fast. When you wait until the next day, it allows you enough time to rest and to think. “One night of sleep can help enhance our decision-making abilities, as our brains are able to elaborate on several different ways to solve a problem," Women’s Health reported. Try backing off and revisit the conversation later on. You both will appreciate it.