5 Things You Don’t Need to Have in Common With Your Future Spouse

There are certain big, important things that you and the person you’re interested in should probably have in common, but you don’t have to be a carbon copy of each other in order to be compatible. You may be best friends, have amazing chemistry and really get each other, but if you both have the same flaws, the relationship may be unsustainable. Things like common interests have nothing to do with compatibility.

Compatibility is about respect, first and foremost. If you like running and your partner doesn’t, you guys can still be perfectly happy together as long as you don’t judge your partner for not running and you don’t try to stop your partner from running. It’s really that simple. While musicians and athletes and dog lovers are often attracted to those who have the same common hobbies and interests, those things are not what a marriage is based upon. Your focus should not be on whether you’re dating someone who enjoys everything you do. Your focus should be whether your relationship is built for the long haul. Here are five things you don’t need to have in common with your future spouse.

Common Interests

Shutterstock.com

Some relationship experts will tell you that it’s important to be with someone who you have common interests with but the truth is, having common interests is a bit overrated, The reason why is having the same interests isn’t that important when it comes to compatibility. In fact, it’s possible to have great chemistry with someone who has almost nothing in common with you! What matters most is that both parties are respectful and accepting of each other’s beliefs and preferences. In many relationships, people tend to fall into the trap of obsessing over the things they don’t have in common with their partner, or even worse, they try to change their partner. The truth is, being in a relationship doesn’t give anyone the right to mold their partner into the person they want them to be. Being with someone who has different interests with you can make for more interesting conversations, more adventure in your relationship and maybe even help you step out of your own comfort zone.

Family Backgrounds, Experiences

Shutterstock.com

Did you grow up as an only child and your partner grew up with multiple siblings? Is your family really small and his or her family really big? That’s ok. Coming from different family backgrounds can be very enriching. Often, people turn to different family structures to fill holes that may have been missing in their own lives growing up. While it’s great to come from similar family backgrounds, nothing is wrong with having different family experiences. It’s also important to note that your family and your unique upbringing isn’t something you had control over. Whatever it was like, it made you who you are. Just because you’re parents were divorced doesn’t mean you’re more compatible with someone who also has parents that split up. Wacky families keep things interesting.

Family backgrounds can help couples decide what kind of family they want to have together. When you and your partner talk about kids, chances are you have had several discussions about how big you want your family to be. There are advantages to both large and small families, but overall, whatever you decide as a couple, you can’t go wrong. When your choice is between “more to love” and “more love to give,” both options can create outstanding results.

Taste in Entertainment

shutterstock.com

Having the same taste in TV, movies or music may be a shared interest that brings you two together, but it’s definitely not a relationship deal breaker. After all, most of the time we all spend listening to music is time spent alone. No one is going to break up over an argument about which Spotify station to listen to while you’re eating dinner. When it comes to TV and movies, this is where compromise comes in. One of you may like action-thrillers. The other may like comedies. If you can’t decide between a dark drama and light comedy, pick a documentary series. Instead of looking for something somewhere between fantasy and prestige drama, go for comedies. And if you never agree on the same TV shows, watch TV separately. You will likely have shows that you guys enjoy together and other shows that you watch on your own and that’s ok too.

Backgrounds

Shutterstock.com

Often couples come from different backgrounds and it can be difficult to find common ground. But usually, if people have similar value systems, couples can work out compromises in their relationship. There are a variety of differences that affect a relationship. These differences make life interesting but sometimes differences cause conflict and hopefully resolution. Some of these differences can include geographic, religious, nationality, cultural and financial. While you are dating, “what if” scenarios are helpful. It is good to discuss these issues to assess whether you and your partner can compromise. It’s also important that you keep your eyes opens. You should be thinking like a team. If you find that you are feeling alone in your thinking, it might be good to seek counseling before you walk down the aisle. Entering a marriage with confidence is important.

Taste in Food

There are lots of qualities you may consider when choosing a love interest. Kindness, generosity, a great sense of humor, solid values and the list goes. You might now, however, give too much thought to their eating habits. You don’t need to walk into the relationship with the same tastes in food but perhaps you may give more weight to the types of foods a potential mate prefers to eat for the sake of your own health. According to some research, couples begin to develop similar tastes in food over time, so you don’t necessarily want to choose a long-term partner whose idea of fine dining is a bacon double cheeseburger and fries. That’s also not to say that if you like Chinese food and your partner likes Italian that you guys won’t make it. It’s about compromise, remember? You may open up your partner to a whole new world of eating and vice versa.