Marriage is a blessing, and in the eyes of God, a sacred covenant. Seeking and marrying the right husband or wife for you is part of God's plan — His design for human flourishing. However, marriage and relationships in general are tough. Although you vowed to remain committed to one another, making a promise before God, you are still human.
It is okay to disagree and feel uncertain. However, you should continue to prioritize love and your lifetime commitment to one another — but "above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins" (1 Peter 4:8).
This dedication to one another takes work. To strengthen your bond, focus on small daily habits within your marriage (while avoiding others). These small habits often matter more than grand gestures and could make all the difference.
5 Small Habits That Strengthen Marriage
Every day, we intentionally or unintentionally strengthen or strain our relationships. Consider adding these habits to your daily routine to ensure strength over strain.
1. Praying together regularly.
Inviting God into your marriage deepens intimacy. Praying together as a couple can enhance emotional intimacy and achieve spiritual unity — a potentially powerful experience. Being open and communicative in your marriage is essential, which you can focus on during shared prayers. If you are praying about something worrisome, sharing your thoughts and prayers can bring you closer: "Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ" (Galatians 6:2).
2. Offering genuine words of encouragement.
Speaking about your lives openly builds trust and confidence, which is why ongoing communication is so vital. God emphasizes listening, building each other up, and selflessness. If you're in doubt, biblical principles can guide you in developing a more honest dynamic that encourages sharing and words of encouragement. "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry" (James 1:19-20).
3. Making time for daily check-ins.
Partners want to be seen and heard, which requires both a husband and a wife to be attentive. Make it a priority to check in with one another, as staying emotionally connected prevents distance. Just as you set time aside for prayer and reflection in your daily routine, you'll want to connect with your partner. During this time, limit distractions and be present. Ask purposeful questions, and when possible, incorporate prayer into conversations. You can read a devotional together that reflects your feelings.
4. Showing appreciation for little things.
Gratitude breeds joy and closeness, creating a happy, healthy marriage and home. It can be a morning cup of coffee, a walk through the park on a sunny day, or a wonderful meal your spouse cooks for you. Expressing gratitude shows recognition of God's gifts and your ability to appreciate the world you and your partner are building together. Even when things seem undesirable, gratitude can go a long way, as said in 1 Timothy 4:4-5, "For every creature of God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with gratitude."
5. Choosing to forgive quickly.
Letting go of grudges keeps hearts soft and helps married couples stay connected. The Bible acknowledges that conflicts and disagreements, especially within a husband-wife partnership, can happen. However, love, humility, and forgiveness are encouraged to ensure unity. Mirror God's grace, as said in Ephesians 4:32, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you."
5 Small Habits That Can Destroy Marriage
Unfortunately, some habits can damage marriages, including the following.
1. Criticizing instead of complimenting.
Constant negativity breeds resentment. The goal is to avoid negativity and being overly judgmental. Instead, focus on positive affirmations and share them with your partner. Pair these affirmations with action for a more significant impact.
2. Withholding affection.
Lack of physical and emotional closeness leads to disconnection. The Bible encourages a man and his wife to fulfill marital duties, including showing affection and intimacy. However, if there are mutually agreed-upon reasons, God supports temporary abstinence. The issue is withholding affection out of anger or spite. Instead, communicate to release any negativity.
3. Ignoring your spouse’s needs.
Marriage is a balancing act — both parties' needs should be met. Selfishness damages trust and intimacy, which can be hard to rebuild. This habit goes against biblical principles of partnership, love, and care. So, remember, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of" (Philippians 2:3-4).
4. Neglecting spiritual growth together.
Drifting spiritually often leads to drifting emotionally. Stay anchored in your faith to ensure stability and a sense of purpose. Allow your shared faith to form a foundation for individual and spousal growth. Open, honest communication is essential; if needed, seek support from a spiritual leader.
5. Letting screens steal your attention.
Phones, TV, and distractions erode quality time. Limit their use, investing in time with one another. The goal is not to invest too heavily in individualistic behaviors that cause resentment and discord within your marriage.
Marriage is a Picture of Christ’s Love
Marriage is a picture of Christ’s love for the Church (Ephesians 5:25-33), so it must be cherished. Small daily choices should reflect kindness, patience, humility, and selflessness (1 Corinthians 13:4-7), which can help guard your marriage.
Although each couple is unique, everyone can start by prayerfully reflecting on habits for a strong marriage. With God's help, even small changes can spark powerful transformation.
