5 Reasons I’m Still Married After 20 Years

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So much can happen in 20 years; five presidents could serve office, a child could be sent off to college, and wars can begin and end. Two decades with someone, even someone you absolutely adore and love, is hard when so much is going on in the outside world. While no one expects marriage to be blissful and easy all the time, sometimes you don’t realize how bad things can actually get at home.

Luckily, with effort and love, you will be able to overcome the difficulties you never thought you would have to face. Your marriage can grow and become stronger because of it.

For those who are just now entering their marriage or are in a rough patch, this one is for you. Marriage is a beautiful thing that brings two amazing people together in harmony but at times, things are not always perfect. From my 20 years of marriage I have learned how to grow with my spouse, accept change, and keep us falling in love more and more each day. These tips are for those who need that extra boost to keep their marriage lasting a lifetime.

Make Christ a priority.

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Christ must be at the very center of your marriage in order for it to thrive. He must be first in everything, and your marriage should be a reflection of your relationship with Christ. Christ needs to be number one in your heart as well. The simple fact is that you have to love God first before you can truly love your spouse. As Tim Keller wrote in Meaning of Marriage: "The simple fact is that only if I love Jesus more than my wife will I be able to serve her needs ahead of my own. Only if my emotional tank is filled with love from God will I be able to be patient, faithful, tender, and open with my wife when things are not going well in life or in the relationship. And the more joy I get from my relationship with Christ, the more I can share that joy with my wife and family."

Change is inevitable.

Your spouse will change over time as God transforms them. We have to expect that our spouses will grow, shift, and mold into someone new as time moves forward. Your spouse will not be the same person they were when you got married. God is here at work, changing them for the better and providing them with a pathway forward. However, God will not forget about you during this time and will help you as you and your spouse work out these new changes. Sometimes the process may be slow, difficult and even painful. The wonderful thing though is that you will change, too, alongside your spouse. God is helping the two of you grow together during these times. Maybe a new child is what is throwing a wrench in your relationship, or a new set of money problems. While this is challenging on a marriage, it can also be incredibly exciting. Look at the positives that these changes will bring.