5 Problems Every Couple Faces in the First Years of Marriage

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You finally tied the knot and you’re feeling like you’re on top of the world. You are now officially married and it’s time to think about the incredible next chapters of your life with your significant other. Everything you’ve devoted your spare time to in the past year since the proposal has finally come together in one of the happiest days of your lives. As you move forward with your journey of life together, there are certain things you’ll realize are a little different in married life versus what it was like as an unmarried, yet committed, couple. Let’s be real. Marriage is hard, especially when we come into it with tons of expectations. The reality is, all of those expectations won’t be met and you’ll have to bend. Many couples experience similar issues that come up during the first years of marriage, and those who are able to work through it will ultimately be able to strengthen their relationships for the long term. Here are five problem every couple faces in the first years of marriage.

Money and Finances

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You like to spend and he likes to save, or vice versa. Money and finances are not sexy topics, especially when you get the credit card bill for your part of the wedding finances and your honeymoon – but it’s an essential one. As soon as you tie your names together legally, you are both bound to certain responsibilities that’ll impact your ability to buy a home, save money and more. Who pays what share of the expenses is one of the major first year problems to deal with. People tend to avoid the conversation, especially in a new marriage because it can lead to arguments. But one of the benefits of marriage is that financial partnership is formed: two incomes and shared expenses. Couples who don’t talk finances establish a bad pattern where one of them is in the dark about money.

In-Laws

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One of the most common stereotypes of married life is having to deal with horrible in-laws. You’ve likely already experienced what it’s like to interact with your in-laws in high stress situations, but there’s always the possibility that your personalities will clash even more when you’re married. When a problem with your in-laws comes up, comminute with your partner that you are feeling tension. Remember to be respectful. After all, these are your partner’s parents – but learn to set boundaries on how much input each set of in-laws should be allowed to have in your marital life. Have an open dialogue about what these boundaries are. With clear and open communication, you will be able to not only start your own family, but also maintain your existing families as well.

Attitudes

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Things will begin to become annoying the first year of marriage. You’ve been married for the first few months and you’ve suddenly realized that little things you used to find adorable and endearing are suddenly getting on your nerves and driving you crazy. It’s easy to be overwhelmed when you suddenly are spending all your time together, but remember that they are still the same person they were before you got married. In order to move forward from this realization, you must accept your partner’s quirks because they are what makes them unique and ultimately define the person that you feel in love with. If you find yourself constantly annoyed by little things, set aside some time for you to spend by yourself or with friends so that you aren’t exposed to these things as frequently.

Intimacy

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As you begin to settle into married life, one common issue that shows up is lack of intimacy. Your priorities have changed now that you are husband and wife, and sex slowly falls farther and farther down the list. Intimacy, whether it be physical or emotional with your partner is crucial in any healthy marriage. When intimacy is lacking in any area of your relationship, it’s important to identify the problem and remedy it before things fall apart. It’s tough to manage busy schedules as a married couple, especially when you also want to set time just for yourself. If you find yourself falling into this after your wedding day, you need to actively make the time and effort to rekindle that spark you once had. Start scheduling date nights when you both won’t be too tired. When you do this, make sure the TVs are off and your phones are put away.