Couple holding hands

Love is an innate feeling that fuels the biological and neurological condition.

We all have a desire for a strong connection and to be with someone who fulfills all the parts that are empty in us. There is a reason for this said Catherine Wybourne, a Benedictine nun. "The paradox of love is that it is supremely free yet attaches us with bonds stronger than death. It cannot be bought or sold; there is nothing it cannot face; love is life's greatest blessing," she told The Guardian. Love is a paradox for sure and challenges don't prevent us from seeking it out. The journey of finding this person could hurt as you will need to change your own perceptions and let go of your own emotional baggage. Here is how to find your love of a lifetime.

What do you want in a mate? When we break up with someone or they dump us, we can learn what we don't want in a relationship. Going through these practice relationships allows you to make sure that you won't allow negative patterns to continue. You will also know whether you want a person who values being more of a homebody than a social butterfly or someone who will make the relationship a priority. "If you know what you don't want, you know what you do want. Your power to create lies in your ability to choose thoughts that are positively clear so that you can tell the universe exactly what you desire," Your Tango explained. Make the decision to know what you want in a relationship before you get involved in a connection that is wrong for the both of you.

Be honest with yourself. Maybe you are preventing love from finding you. Look at your history first. Are there any negative patterns of you becoming possessive or having sex too early to make them love you? We all have baggage from our childhood that we carry into our relationships and these issues don't go away. Be honest and start cleaning up your life first and this will help you find love and avoid toxic relationships. For example, maybe you never had a father figure in your life, so now you are super clingy to the people that you date. Unresolved issues of the past will always influence present relationships.  If you are honest with yourself, you can start working towards a better you. Ultimately, it will be good for all your relationships.

Be open to relationships. Maybe you painted yourself into a corner by wanting a guy to look a certain way or be in a certain career. When you do this, you are cutting off a big chunk of people. As we get older, it is harder to find someone, so let's stop being so picky. If we are basing things solely on looks and solely on money--you are missing out. There is nothing wrong with wanting someone who has their act together. Having someone who will be there for you during bad times and having someone who is thoughtful, trumps dating a person who is shallow.

You are not picky enough. Just as being overly picky is bad, not being picky enough can also delay you from finding your true love. Dating someone you know right off the bat will not be a good fit is no good. Or dating a person for just a warm body and a pulse is a waste of time as well. You may have such a low self-esteem that you end up with someone who you are not even attracted to and someone that you just tolerate. If you date anyone who asks for your number, then there is a problem.

Get a life. Yes, your dream spouse could knock at your door, but the odds are better if you get your keister off the couch and get out. Become more involved in social groups and live your life as ice cream and Netflix can only entertain you so much. While you are seeking out love, work on yourself a little and your own dreams. "Learn how to be interesting, kind, caring and unselfish. Model yourself after women you admire. Work hard at changing your character defects," CBN reported. When you are more active in your pursuits, you won't be crying into your wine about how lonely you are. Also, this will help you become more than a one-dimensional person.

Looking into dating sites. You are not above matchmaker services. There are bad stories as much as there are good stories of how people met and fell in love. Seek reputable organizations and use common sense. If finding love online freaks you out, you could always go on a blind date. You can meet with each other in a group so it is not as intimidating. Another reason this can be good is if you don't like them, you can avoid the awkwardness being with them for the entire time. 

Attract like-minded people. If you want to be with someone who is kind, try volunteering to meet someone who looks to help others. If being with someone who is a person of faith is a criterion, go on church outings for singles. If you want to attract more like-minded people, put ourselves in an environment to connect with those people. 
Be patient because finding the right person does take a lot of time and you don't want to be with the wrong person. No one is perfect, we all have flaws and all humans are hard to decode. If you want to find true love, play your part and perhaps one day they will wonder where you've been their entire lives. The Greek god's believed love is maddening and we can't argue with that axiom at all.  

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