8 Surprising Habits of Healthy Couples by Margarita Tartakovsky l Relationship Advice l How to Have a Healthy Relationship l Love Advice l Happy Relationship Tips

They’re All About Small Gestures

“Romance doesn’t necessarily need to involve a dozen roses or a love poem,” said Bridget Levy, LCPC, a psychotherapist and director of business development at Urban Balance, a counseling practice with six locations in the Chicago area. Instead, happy, healthy couples perform small acts of kindness – any chore or task they think their partner would be grateful if they completed, she said.

“While vacuuming or unloading the dishwasher hardly seems sexy, such acts can confirm that your partner is invested in the relationship and is striving to make your life a little easier.” Levy suggests couples perform at least one kind act for each other each week.

They Fight

Disagreeing with each other is “perfectly healthy and normal,” Levy said. “It doesn’t mean you don’t love or care for each other or that you are headed for a breakup; it simply means you have a difference of opinion.” Couples typically disagree about communication, sex or finances, she said.

“Healthy couples navigate disagreements by reminding themselves that they are on the same team and ultimately want the same outcome, peace, harmony and fulfillment in their relationship.”

That means they don’t attack or intentionally try to hurt each other, she said. Instead, they try to understand their partner and work toward a solution, she said. They also continue to have respect for their partner and listen intently to their opinions and concerns without judgment. “This is also critical as judgment often escalates arguments.”

They Prioritize Their Relationship

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“It's always amazing to me how many people put all of their effort getting down the aisle only to totally ignore their relationship once they're married,” said Steinorth-Powell. She stressed the importance of making your relationship number one. For instance, this means carving out time together, being attentive and not taking each other for granted.

“I understand that your children are important, but it's very important for [them] to see that their parents have a good, healthy relationship.” This models what healthy relationships look like and once the kids move out, you’ll still have a solid relationship, she said.