“Marriages inevitability get flat, stale and boring over time”
Many times, the original qualities that attracted us to our partners like predictability, stability and dependability, can be the greatest source of irritation. For example, relationship security can translate to boringness. While your partner hasn’t changed (and neither have you) those attractive qualities are less evident because you’re focusing on what you find dissatisfying. Authors Linda and Charlie Bloom explain that there will always be things about your partner that displease you, and if you’re like most people, you may even have a belief that there’s someone out there that is more interesting, exciting, imaginative, passionate, creative and so on. If you were with that person you believe would be happier. This is unlikely. If that’s what you were seeking in a partner, you would have set your sights on a different kind of person. The good news is that we have the ability the change the quality of our experience by shifting our perspective, even if our partner doesn’t change. We can do this by no longer dwelling on what we don’t like and focusing on what it is that we love and appreciate.