5 Things to Tell Yourself When Looking for Love

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We all want to find Mr. or Mrs. Right, but discovering the perfect one isn’t always easy. Sometimes, it seems like time keeps ticking and the right person will never show up for us. When you spend so much time looking for your soul mate, it’s easy to become frustrated, confused and settle for less than you deserve. These fears and concerns will hold you back from finding your perfect match. But God has a plan for you and it’s important to put your trust in His path! Here are five things to tell yourself when looking for love. These tips will help you to remain focused and patient for the right person as well as help you get rid of your own insecurities about love. Never settle for less! Use your time wisely as you wait for a healthy, strong and committed love to come your way.

Don’t look for a partner who is eye candy.

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Love at first sight does happen, but more likely than not it’s only infatuation at first sight. Just because a new person is great in appearance doesn’t always translate to a great personality. It takes time to get to know someone’s true inner-self.

You can also think about it this way: health-conscious people read food labels to make sure there are no dangerous ingredients. If you want to find a healthy relationship, you have to be as emotionally health-conscious. Take time to find out what’s inside a good-looking, tempting person before you let them into your emotional system. Just because they are in a mouthwatering package doesn’t mean they’re good for you! The good news? The right person only gets better when you’re attracted to their soul.

Don’t forget how much you are worth.

In our society, it’s unfortunate that people don’t always treat each other with the love and care that everyone deserves. If you do not stand up for yourself when you are being treated poorly, you will settle for people who do not fully love you. If you don’t fully love yourself then it’s time to start!

You probably have heard of an Achilles' heel or a weakness that leads to a downfall. Often love problems arise when you have an “Achilles' something” or a feeling of weakness that makes you doubt your self-worth. If you feel insecure about your weight, you may have an “Achilles' tummy” or if you feel insecure about your intelligence, you may have an “Achilles' mind.” If the Achilles' makes you feel less worthy, it will allow others to look down on you as well. It’s important to love yourself, imperfections and all! Create a list of all the great things you have to offer to help take your mind off your insecurities.

Don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t give you their time.

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Don’t knock on doors when no one is answering. If the door doesn’t open, it’s simply not your door. It’s so important to remember that not everyone you lose in life is a loss. You don’t need anyone that doesn’t need you. Do not take a chance with people who aren’t running to show you how much they love you. If someone is a good catch, they will show it.

If someone wants to leave it's okay to recognize that it isn’t a bad thing. It only means that their part in your life story is over and your story will still move on. You will find new love and learn valuable lessons. The good news is that every breakup is an opportunity to trade up! The space that someone leaves behind is freed up for someone much better to come into your life.

Don’t be needy for love.

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The fear of being alone drives a lot of individuals into the arms of someone that they don’t belong with. You want to be confident you are choosing someone out of love for them and not out of desperation for company.

You should never go food shopping when you’re starving because you will pick up things that aren’t always good for you. You should be just as careful looking for love when you’re lonely. Instead of being needy for love, you should be “want-y.” You should want someone because their presence only enhances your already exciting and joyful life. The less needy you are, the less likely you will be to overlook red flags. Just like the less hungry you are, the less likely you will be to pick up food you don’t need.

Don’t settle, period.

If you want to improve your chances of finding the perfect soul mate, you need to stop seeking a “wish list” of qualities. Remember, it’s called a soul mate – not an ego mate, wallet mate, lust mate, or status mate.

While your wish list of qualities may be good in theory (sexy, successful, funny, etc.) there is truly one feeling you should be seeking that is above all of those qualities. The feeling you should be seeking – even before seeking love – is the feeling of safety. If you don’t feel safe with your partner (safe being your true self, safe being vulnerable, etc.) then it will never become true love. In a healthy relationship, your partner should make you feel secure, loved and emotionally intimate.