Become an Active Listener
If there’s one thing all human beings want in another person, it’s to be heard.
Most people think that they’re great listeners, but, in actuality, are terrible at really hearing and processing what other people say. This leads to a lot of dates that never make it past the first coffee outing.
To transform your dating life, you need to go past passive hearing, and into active listening.
The secret to active listening lies in quieting your inner voice while your date is talking. Don’t mentally prepare what you have to say and then blurt it out as soon as they take a breath. Instead, focus your mental energy on processing what they have to say.
While listening, give verbal and non-verbal clues that you’re hearing what the speaker has to say. Smile, nod your head, and say uh-huh. Face toward the speaker, and refrain from distracting movements like picking your nails or—especially—going through your phone. Above all, do not interrupt the speaker, and allow them time to think, take a breath, or pause.
When the speaker is done, ask for clarification, if needed, and respond with sincerity to what they’ve just said.
Active listening takes a lot of concentration to work, but don’t give up. This is one of the most important skills you’ll ever learn, and will change your dating life for the better.