Beliefnet
2016-05-12

A wise person once said "love is blind and love can be foolish - our heart doesn't always love the right people at the same time. Sometimes we hurt the ones that love us the most and sometimes we love the ones that don't deserve love at all." When we're in love, it's easy to ignore the signs that something's wrong in the relationship, particularly with the one we're dating. As Christians, it's important that we seek God's counsel when it comes to our relationship. If bad things are happening now, they will continue to occur if you allow them to. Here are five red flags for Christians blinded by romance. If you're experiencing these things, you just may be in a bad relationship.

If you are talking to someone who doesn't have a personal relationship with Jesus, you are headed down a complicated road and if you think they are going to find Christ as a result of being in a relationship with you, you are deceiving yourself. Before delving into any relationship with a non-believer, you really need to ask yourself this crucial question: who will come first, Christ or your partner? If the answer is Christ, your partner must understand that when it comes to the decisions you make, Christ comes first. Understand that your close relationship with Christ may complicate your relationship with the person you’re dating if they don't know Him.

Just because someone you're dating professes to be Christian, doesn’t necessarily mean they have Biblical beliefs or true Christian values. Be cautious of those who profess to be Christian, but don’t model Christ in their actions. The Bible tells us there are many. Jesus warns: “These people say they are mine. They honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. And their worship of me is nothing but man-made rules learned by rote” (Isaiah 29:13). Titus 1:16 says “They claim to know God, but they deny Him by what they do. They are detestable, disobedient and unfit to do anything good.” Some of these candidates will sin on purpose, sinning now and disobeying God’s teaching. The Bible say, “Whoever says, ‘I know him,’ but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in that person” (1 John 2:4). Before we get involved in any romantic relationship, it's important that we keep our eyes and ears open for this truth.

Living together before marriage is becoming increasingly common, even among Christian couples and for a number of reasons. Before making a lifelong commitment, many couples want a “trial period” to feel out how they both live, and know if taking the relationship to the next level makes sense. Many Christians are adopting the beliefs and practices of the world, and this can be problematic for a number of reasons. We are putting ourselves in a position for desire and temptation to rise. You are also setting the grounds for a lack of commitment down the line. Marriage is the only up front commitment.

Trust is something we all seek in our relationships. If trust is absent at the start of the relationship, it's a major red flag of your romantic interest's insecurities. It stunts the growth and development of a relationship. Broken trust that occurs as a result of actions within the relationship is another story. When it's broken or absent from our romantic relationships, it can stifle us. Luckily, as Christians, there's hope with God. God understands that sometimes people are untrustworthy. We will experience suffering because people have broken faith with us, sometimes because of no fault of our own. If we pray and ask God for help, we are given the strength to overcome that broken trust.

Abuse in any form whether it be physical, mental or emotional is unacceptable under all circumstances. As Christians, we are called to align ourselves with those who lift us up, not tear us down. We are also called to respect ourselves. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies." If your romantic interest isn't holding to these words, you need to exit stage left.

If these red flags are showing up in your relationship, don't ignore them. Not only will they sabotage your relationship, but also separate on your journey with Jesus. Seek God's counsel in your relationship and pray for guidance and clearer understanding. If all signs continue to point you down this road, it's time to walk away. God wants more for you!


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