2019-02-20
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Dating isn’t easy. Finding someone you really click with and want to be in a relationship with can be hard, even with the millions of single people walking around this earth. It can be exhausting having to go through suitor after suitor trying to find someone that you like that also likes you.

The process takes time, but you might be making it take longer by your own actions. Being a person that someone wants to date is just as important as finding someone you think is suitable to date. Others may be passing you up because you are simply not an easy person to be with. This goes beyond personality and compatibility issues, but rather general actions that you might be doing that are pushing other by. Here are signs you are a hard person to date.

You only talk about yourself.

At first, you might not even realize you have been doing this, but if you are the type of person that only talks about themselves you might be a bad date. It comes off as arrogant even if you don't mean for it to. While it's OK to talk about your life and experiences, don't forget you need to learn about the other person as well. Take time to ask them personal questions so you can get to know their personality more, and decide if they are good fit for you. When with someone new there should be a steady flow of back and forth conversation. Not just one person spending the whole time talking about themselves.

You talk about your exes too often.

Talking about past relationships in a new relationship can be a good thing, but only if done correctly. If the other person inquires about your relationship history then feel free to give them a brief version of events. You can talk about what you learned and how you moved forward from that part of your life. However if you spend a long time discussing how great your ex was, or the opposite, you might come off as looking bitter or not over them. No one wants to date someone that is holding on a ton of emotional baggage. If you aren’t over your last relationship, take time for yourself first before trying to date someone new.

You are desperate.

Admitting to yourself that you are desperate for a relationship is incredibly difficult, but something you need to consider. Objectively look at yourself and your actions. Are you accepting a date with anyone that will give you the time of day, or risking your personal morals just to be with someone? No one wants to be alone, but don't jeopardize who you are just to be with someone else. Doing so can attract the wrong type of people that will be toxic in relationships or take advantage of you, while pushing away those that want a stable, healthy relationship. Being clingy is not attractive, and makes it seem like you are ready for something serious.

You expect perfection.

You might have a list of what your dream partner would be like. You might want them to have gone to college, be tall and handsome, and be under a certain age. While having general guidelines is necessary to ruling out some partners, there is such a thing as being too picky. You might have perfectly great options for you lining up at your door, but you are passing them on because you find one thing that you don’t like. There is never going to be someone that is completely flawless, no matter how hard you look. This makes others not want to date you because they feel they can never live up to who you want them to be.

You are too negative.

No one likes hearing someone complain about everything – especially on a date. If your thing is to constantly point out the bad, talk about what’s wrong with the world and your life, or talk down about others then you really aren't great dating material. Being around someone who’s critical and judgmental only brings your mood down, so why would you want to do that to someone else? If you aren't in a place where you are happy in life, then it might not be the time to date. Find peace and optimism, otherwise you will break down everyone you try and start a relationship with.

You don’t take care of yourself.

It might sound harsh, but how you present yourself to others will determine what they first think of you. If you show up to a job interview in jeans and flip flops, you will come off as someone who isn't professional. Dating is the same way. If you always show up looking like you just rolled out of bed and didn't put in any effort, why should you expect the other person to take the date seriously? You don't need to do anything that isn't normally you. However putting in a small amount of effort shows that you are genuinely interested in the other person and that you care enough to put your best face forward.

Dating isn’t an easy process, so don’t make it harder for yourself by committing these dating sins. Be aware of how you portray yourself to other people, because regardless if you like it or not, others are constantly judging who you are. Don’t let the people you date see you as someone you aren’t, and always try to be your authentic self.