2018-06-15
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First dates can be exciting and scary. If you’ve been single for a while, you may be anxious. You also may be having a difficult time adapting to getting back into the dating world. Sometimes it’s hard to open up to someone because you don’t know them or trust them yet, which makes asking personal questions pretty difficult. It may also be hard to come up with the right questions to ask. In today’s dating landscape, it can especially difficult for Christians to find someone who aligns with their values and truly keeps God at the center of their life.

That’s why getting to know someone when you’re dating is so important. When we aren’t afraid to ask certain questions, we have the opportunity to learn so much about the person sitting in front of us. Don’t you want to know who you may be preparing to invest your time in? It’s important that you know if they are emotionally available and if they are truly ready to be involved with them. Here are eight things Christians should ask while dating. .

'What do you like to do?'

On the first date, learn what they like to do in their spare time, what they are passionate about and what they value. Is God at the top of their list? You should know what matters to them and they should also know what matters to you. Is their answer related to their job or their favorite hobby? Remember, whatever their answer is will become a frequent part of your life if you begin a relationship with them. If they have trouble answering this question, this could indicate that they haven’t channeled their passion yet or that they lack the motivation to. How we feel about the things we do matter.

'What are you looking for in a relationship?'

Are they looking for something casual and short-term, or are they looking for a long-term, committed relationship? It’s important that you immediately determine what they are looking for before you invest yourself emotionally. It’s also important that you’re clear about what you’re looking for also, so that you don’t mislead them or ignore your own needs. What’s the point in getting invested in someone if they aren’t looking for the same things you’re looking for in a relationship? Remember, not everyone in the dating world is looking for the same things you are so if you’re looking for love, make sure they are looking for the same thing. Christians should not waste their time dating people who aren’t looking for a serious, committed relationship. Don’t let society pressure you.

'How long ago was your last relationship?'

This question will open the door to a number of other imperative questions: Was their last break up a few years ago, a few months ago, or a few days ago? Are they currently dating other people? Are they open to dating right now? These answers may reveal if they are emotionally available yet. It will also reveal how serious they are about investing in a serious, committed relationship. The answer may also reveal that they have moved on and are willing to invest in the love again. If you know where their heart is, you can better predict the outcome.

'What happened with you and your ex?'

This is the second part to the previous question. It’s important that you understand their past before moving forward. This one question can reveal a lot about a person – what they’ve been through and where their heart is. People often do a good job at hiding their fears and insecurities on a first date until their past shows up. We often don’t bring it up on the first date because we don’t want to make the person uncomfortable but it’s something we want to know and will eventually come to know, whether they want you to or not. They may struggle with their response or the answer may come easy. This question will help you see this person in a different light. You may be surprised at how much you’re able to relate to their responses. .

'What’s something I should know about you?'

This question is particularly revealing because it gives you a glimpse of who they really are. When you first start dating, both parties are often more willing to be open as they get to know each other. Use this to your advantage. Ask them to reveal something that they may not reveal otherwise. Often times, they will give you hints at who they are with their body language and remarks they make during the date. This is a chance to find answers that will reveal the most about your chances of moving forward. It’s better that you know these answers early on.

'What qualities are you looking for in a partner?'

What are his or her ideal attributes? Are they looking for maturity, openness, honesty, integrity, respect, success or empathy? Are they looking for someone who is God-fearing, Bible-reading and prayerful? This question is important, not only because it reveals what they desire in someone, but because this will often mirror their own qualities. If trust is important to them in a partner, most likely they will be a trustworthy partner. Many of these qualities won’t be apparent to us when we first meet someone, but asking this question will help you get a better understanding of what they are looking for and if you match up.

'What things are most important to you?'

A great way to get to know someone is to find out what they are most passionate about. What things are most important to them in life? It could be family and friends, their career, shopping or reality TV. Either way, this helps you discover what he or she spends the most time thinking about and what they place above everything else. Your list may not mirror theirs and that’s OK. If you think their list is ridiculous, you may not be compatible.

'What’s your vision for the future?'

Does their vision match your lifestyle expectations? This question will help you determine what their future may look like, or at least what they want their future to look like. They may see themselves being married, starting a new business, having children or selling their home and moving to a different area. This will ultimately help you figure out whether he or she has a vision for the future and if you can see yourself in that vision. If their vision requires a major life change, you should ask yourself if you’re willing to join them on that journey. .

When you are dating someone new, it’s so important that you get know what they’ve experienced, what’s important to them and how important it is to them. These eight questions will reveal layers of their truth and help you discover if they are worth investing your time in. God should be at the center of their life and the one who leads them. There’s no need to waste your time if they are not in line with what you’re looking for or if they are emotionally unavailable.