4 Signs Your Man Isn’t Really a Christian

You might have a fabulous relationship. Your man is sweet, cute, funny and handsome. He checks all the right boxes. He treats you right. Your parents like him. Your friends approve. There is still something, however, that nags at you. There is something that does not seem right, but you cannot put your finger on it. Maybe it is a strange reluctance to pray with him. Maybe it is that you noticed he seems uncomfortable at church or around Christian friends of yours. Listen to your instincts. They may be telling you he is not actually a Christian.

You may have met your man at a Bible study or at church, but that does not mean he is necessarily a Christian. There are many people who give a good show of faith but feel nothing for Christ on the inside. These people are like modern Pharisees with their false piety. If you think that your man is one of these people, it may be time to leave him behind. You are unlikely to have a strong spiritual connection with someone who has little faith of their own, and you will be unable to grow in your own faith. If you are having doubts, look for the little tells and signs your man is not really a Christian.

Dismissive or Belittling Church

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Pay attention to how he talks about church and worship. If he is extremely dismissive of service, he might not really be a Christian. Worship might feel like a waste of time to him, especially if you two attend a church where there are not opportunities for him to show off his “faith” and increase his piety credentials. He might also be uncomfortable or unwilling to attend church because being surrounded by those who are true believers forces him to confront the fact that he is not truly one of the faithful.

Just because your man is not as enthusiastic about attending church as you are does not mean he is necessarily not a Christian. It could be that he prefers a different feel than the church you are currently attending. He might prefer a church that is smaller or larger than the one you two currently attend. He might not get along with the congregation through no fault of his own. Disliking worship can be a sign of a problem, or it could mean very little. That one you will have to figure out on your own.

Reluctant to Discuss Faith

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Most Christians are happy to discuss their faith with those they love. Some are more comfortable sharing intimate and personal details about their faith than others, but when Christians trust people, they normally are willing to have discussions related to faith. In fact, many Christians are happy to have religious discussions even with people who are more or less strangers. If your man is unwilling to have discussions about faith, however, there may be a problem.

Some people who claim they are Christians, but are not, do not like to have discussions about faith because they are aware that such discussions can reveal that who they really are does not match the persona they project. This could be the case if your man does not want to have religious discussions. Depending on how long you two have been together, it could also simply be that he does not yet feel comfortable enough with you to have such personal discussions.

Pushes Against Your Beliefs

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Even if your man is really a Christian, you two are not going to agree on everything. You may not even agree on everything about your beliefs. Assuming you are both good Christians, however, you should agree on most things, and assuming you have a healthy relationship, you should be able to be respectful of each other where those beliefs are different.

There may be a problem if your man is pushing you to do something that is against your beliefs. “Pushing” could involve anything from repeatedly having persuasive discussions to him asking you repeatedly why you refuse to do something to rolled eyes and “jokes” about your beliefs. If he is mocking Christian ideas, then it is unlikely that he is a Christian man. There is, however, the possibility that he is still a Christian man, just not a very nice one. Even if your man is perfect in every other way, he is not the right man for you if he makes fun of your beliefs.

Un-Christian Lifestyle

Perhaps the biggest give away that your man is not actually a Christian is if he does not live a Christian life. If he is greedy, selfish or a liar, he probably is not truly a Christian. The same is true if he talks down to people or believes that he is better than others. It is not the amount of Bible verses that a person knows that makes them a Christian. It is how they live their life. You man could be able to quote Scripture backwards and forwards or spend hours and hours at worship or church events, but if he does not put what he reads or hears into practice, he is not truly a Christian.

No Christian is perfect, so do not expect your man to live a completely righteous life. Do not think that just because your man tells the occasional white lie to spare his aging aunt’s feelings he is not a Christian. Everyone has their sins and vices. Do be aware, though, that if his vices outnumber his virtues, he is probably not a good Christian man.