Reasons Your Man Cheated l Catch a Cheater l Why He Left

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That scamp cheated, and now you have many questions and are chock-full of wrath. It's easy to dwell on the bad when you don't know where to start as the news can be crushing. Everyone deals with adultery uniquely, so we hope you're hanging in there. If you’re one of those gals who has a struggle with heartbreak, it is reasonable to feel that way. Anytime we experience trauma--it takes a lot of time to settle because our boat just capsized. We become like zombies to outlast the tribulation and confusion. In the book of Isaiah 41:10 we are reassured to not fear. “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” You are not alone, so take solace that you can make it to the other side. Here are 5 reasons your man cheated.

He's a Con Man

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You didn't break up yet, or maybe you did! There are many emotions involved when one cheats— anger, sadness, loneliness, feelings of rejection and uncertainty about the future — and "It’s essential to confront them head-on," the Huffington Post shared. Give yourself permission to grieve. Step back from the situation for a moment to gain a clearer perspective and know that this was not your fault. He may deceive you through trickery and manipulation to look like he was a perfect husband, but this was false. He might have done everything by the book, except following his marriage vows! "Well, no one is perfect," people may respond, but a decent person would not cheat! What a con man, and what a setback for the relationship.

They're Selfish

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Cheating is breaking a commitment of marriage. It means that you find yourself in a distressed situation and rather than dealing with the circumstances, you deal with it through an affair. Many cheaters do tell themselves that they are justified to cheat because their spouse doesn't take charge of their sexual needs. This still doesn't give someone a reason! Cheating is a character flaw, some experts believe. "As a therapist, I have a unique perspective in that it’s my job to access empathy for anyone who is open to the work of self-repair. The truth is, there are some cheaters who learn their lesson, and there are others who will continue to engage in this selfish behavior regardless of the consequences," Dr. Seth Meyers wrote.

Communication Was Poor

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Poor communication can really thwart a relationship, but let us clarify, it is not an excuse to cheat! However, this could be where the disconnect happened. There will be times where you don't want to deal with them or they are not listening. This is not an anomaly. People become tired, are working and sometimes don't have a lot to offer. A person could be passive aggressive and doesn't know how to communicate. To listen more effectively, you need to stop talking! This will take practice, but be patient and allow them to communicate. Now with the news, you need to learn to effectively communicate your feelings with your man. Perhaps having an arbitrator will help as your feelings are raw and justly so.

They Always Lied

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Do they have a history of lying? If so, this is a sign that they could never be trusted, but you brushed it off. If they were always misleading you, they might be a pathological liar. Pathological lying is having a “Long history of frequent and repeated lying for which no apparent psychological motive or external benefit can be discerned.” When there is a breach of trust like infidelity we often go see a marriage counselor for help. But we should not wait until we hit a crisis to reach out for guidance. When you need to find neutral ground a therapist can assist you to become more objective to help you restore the relationship. However, your man needs to accept that they have a grave problem. As a sidenote, you can't make them change, so keep that in mind!