“Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,” a famous quote reminds us, ladies. Well, you are not alone. The are an estimated 75 percent of men who say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught, InfidelityFacts.com found. The reasons for infidelity could be a shortage of emotional connection, a lack of communication or a lack of sex.
No matter what the reason was or is.
Cheating stinks.We sometimes will never solve the puzzle of why they cheated on you. The bottom line is that he broke your heart and stole your dreams and you feel like a statistic. Now that you've been through the ringer, you are stronger than ever as empowerment runs through your veins. Here is what you can learn from a cheater and how to better yourself during the laborious process.
Looks has nothing to do with infidelity.
Why are we stunned when a guy cheats on a hot woman? Women who we deem as "perfect looking" or having a perfect life get cheated on. So, what gives? Look at the cases of professional golfer Tiger Woods cheating on Elin Nordegren and actor Ben Affleck cheating on actress Jennifer Garner. These gals seemingly have it all. They have looks money and a family. But infidelity has little to do with appearance, wealth, education or social status, writer Stacey Freeman explained on Huffington Post. Cheating is not based on looks, money or social class, it is a character flaw.
It will make you stronger.There will be moments that you will cry into a pillow out of frustration. You will look back on it as being a caveat to your future that you are not done. According to Elite Daily, studies showed that the heart is designed to overcome heartbreak in as little as 3 months. A breakup can make some people stronger. "People report that losing a relationship is felt as physical pain as well as emotional pain," authors Ty Tashiro and Patricia Frazier of I’ll Never Be in a Relationship Like that Again found. While you are becoming stronger there is always chocolate, wine and salty snacks. Use positive imagery, thoughts or try to pray through unleashing your anger on him or even yourself. Know that emotions are natural, but can be managed successfully.
It makes you question your part.Do you think that you are done with relationships for good? Theses are all questions you probably have. Once you get to a calming place (and you will!), you can pull your thoughts together and you will become more rational. There will be many more questions nagging at you, but you don't have to pay any mind to them until you are ready.
It makes you stand up for yourself.A person doesn't define you. We get caught up in the negativity of a breakup and that is OK. Some people lose themselves in a relationship, some also lose themselves in its failure to work out and become stuck in their pain. You will or have come to the conclusion that this doesn't need to break you at all. This cheater has built you into a powerhouse of strength. Turn the tables around and stand up for yourself not only in your relationships but in your life. You can thank him for cheating on you. He made you into a stronger person and allowed you to find true love. "It’s up to you to show the world how you want and expect to be treated. If someone is not giving you respect, walk," Freeman wrote.
It makes you learn to forgive.You don't have to forgive him right away. If you forgive, do it for your own sake, anyway. The reason is you will be carrying his garbage of what he did with you forever. Take the negetivity and dump it so he can't control you through bitterness and hate. If it takes you a lifetime to forgive, so be it. You are human.
It makes you realize not everyone cheats.Know that there is hope and not everybody cheats. There are good people out there still in the world. True, there are people who are more prone to cheat. People who come from broken homes, are depressed or suffer from bipolar disorder may cheat. If your partner loves drama and excitement, they may be attracted to cheating because of the adrenaline ride. The bigger picture is that most people are not philanderers. What you can learn from this is not all guys are bad, just the one that you married.
It forces you to face pain.You need to work through your pain. If you are not dealing with the hurt you are stuffing your emotions. You may be covering them up with buying material things or having casual affairs. Talk with a counselor or a pastor. You need to invite people to help you process things out. Facing your pain is the only way to experience healing.
It makes you work on yourself.We all are marvelously flawed people. Take ownership of your actions. Are there things that you can work on? If it is insecurity, get to the bottom of it. If you internalize fear, chart a way to find freedom. Take an emotional vacation to get to the bottom of where any negative behavior is coming from. This can be taking a relationship slower or not settling for less so you don't have to be lonely. "Reclaim the essence of anything you regret losing, you'll find it—often sooner than you think, in ways, you would never have expected," The Huffington Post reported.
You need more time to embrace the lessons that you learned from this chapter. Put yourself on notice that you don't have to live with the pain forever. Restore your life back today by making the decision that cheating does not define you--it will make you more unstoppable as you move forward.