There are many reasons that people get divorced. Things like deceit, anger, money problems or stress are all things that factor into a split. The bigger ticket items that destroy a marriage are abuse, infidelity, jealousy and selfishness. Divorce is pretty widespread and experts believe that most marriages do fail and this happens within the church as well. This is not a novel thing in modern America. In society, marriage is treated just as a word and a thing to do. The commitment has shifted over the years through a shrinking faith life and shrinking religious ties. If you are a Christian, marriage is a sacred institution that was created by God. Despite the lack of commitment--divorce is simply not an option for the church because we are bored and don't want to work towards making the relationship work. God created Adam and did not want him to be alone. This was the reason God created Eve. Focus on the Family explained that God blessed them and their union. "The creation of marriage occurred prior to sin's entrance into the world. It was a part of God's perfect design for mankind." Does God agree with divorce? Maybe not, but as Christians, it needs to be the last result unless abuse is involved or other malice behavior is present. Here is how a Christian should approach divorce before making the final call.
Stick with your commitment.Marriage is hard all around. One day you love them and there are days where you can't look at them. This is natural, but this doesn't mean you get a divorce. If you are feeling bored in your relationship, start working towards changing it. There are some people that marry more than twice. Perhaps some that are married 4 times or more. The succession of relationships continues because people feel they are no longer compatible. What did Jesus say in Mathew 19:4-6? He said let no man break what God has predetermined. "A man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh?Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." Jesus was pretty serious regarding the covenant of marriage and so should we.
Suck it up buttercup.Just like we have trials in our personal lives, our marriages suffer through seasons of turmoil. Go through the Bible and you will find plenty of stories about upheaval. David, Moses and Jesus Christ—all of them struggled while they were on earth. Abraham was disobedient to God when he slept with Hagar, his wife's (Sarah) maidservant. Times have changed, but people still experience trials and we will have this in our marriages. It is about time that we all start living past our feelings.
What does Scripture say?God said that He hates divorce. The reason is that it destroys the family unit. The consequences are detrimental for those that go through it. Some of the results of divorce are depression, poverty and rejection that continues to impact people involved. Pretty much, it is a bad story that never ends. Does He really hate divorce? Well, you need to read Malachi 2:16: "Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit, they are His. Why one? Because He was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. I hate divorce," says the Lord God of Israel. When we get married we become unified in God's eyes. That is a powerful force to be reckoned with.
Seek out therapy.If you are 100 percent invested in finding help, you can save your marriage. If you are not getting cheated on and there is no abuse of any kind involved--seek out a Christian marriage counselor for guidance if you need help. For example, when a couple grows apart and they begin to feel like roommates, they need counseling. This doesn't mean they don't love each other or that they are not compatible, it might be that communication or other things are causing a lack of intimacy. In case there is an affair and the couple is trying to work it out--counseling can be the arbitrator. "If both individuals are committed to the therapy process and are being honest, the marriage may be salvaged. At the very least, it may be determined that it is healthier for both individuals to move on," Psychcentral.com explained.
When is divorce permissible?However, there are those who do remain married after an affair, but it is believed if a spouse is committing adultery and is unrepentant of it--you should get a divorce. If there is mental cruelty or physical cruelty involved--you should get divorced. If an unbeliever leaves the marriage, then the believer is not bound, according to what Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7:15. Paul instructs us to let them go as "in such cases, the Christian husband or wife is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you to live in peace."
If you are considering divorce, trust God with your marriage before seeing a lawyer. Divorce can really destroy our lives and the lives of others like your children. Don't treat marriage flippantly, do what you can to make it work. God knows what is best for you and will equip you with the knowledge that you need. We don't have all the answers and we can only go by what the Bible tells us to do. We do know that divorce is akin to a fast-spreading cancer in modern society. We've become antagonistic towards marriage and to the family unit. If God created the sanction of marriage, why would He want us to handle divorce like it's no biggie? Don't let your relationship sputter out because of time, miscommunication or boredom. Instead, make the effort to work things out before calling it quits.