It was surprising to find out that a family friend who attended church revealed that she and her husband believed in an open marriage. She said that according to John 3:16 that she accepted Jesus and "Regardless of how much I break those rules, Jesus will take care of me." Okay, so Jesus is cool with adultery? Not likely. This was a shock because this is a no-no in the Christian world, right? But so was the Ashley Madison website, which made waves through the Christian community. You might recall them, they encouraged people to have an affair because it would enrich the relationship. There were believers who also visited the hookup site. Not all Christians are on board with this belief, however, and thank goodness. Christiannews.com reported that the subscribers of the Ladies Who Love the Lord Facebook fan page were asked: "Is outsourcing intimacy in a marriage is considered adultery, even if it’s an amicable agreement between the couple?" The participants were asked to back up their beliefs with Scripture and most respondents agreed that this was an act of adultery. For those who support open relationships, stay fastened. Here are 6 principles to consider if you want to have intimacy outside of your marriage.
We bend Scriptures to meet our needs.People misquote Scriptures and bend it to meet their own desires. Adultery defiles the marriage, according to the Bible. You shall not commit adultery. This is not limited to sex outside of marriage. God commands us to abstain from all sexual immorality, including premarital sex, homosexuality, incest, voyeurism, bestiality and public nudity. But like with anything else we want to justify our actions to ease our minds and perhaps trick our souls as well. As Christians, we can't be the proverbial ostriches burying our heads in the sand and excuse this as a standard.
It's not part of God's plan.Do you both view sexual acts as part of becoming one flesh? If you don't this could be the reason you feel that having an open marriage is fine. God established the one flesh relationship. Genesis 2:24 tells us that a "Man will leave his family, join to his wife, and become one flesh with her." Marriage and sex are intended to be part of God's perfect plan. When we step out to have multiple sex partners, we damage our spirit and maybe our health. Sex binds people together physically, emotionally and spiritually. Mark 10:9 also confirmed that when people are joined together that it is a powerful force. "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”
It's a sin.Ephesians 5:3 is pretty straightforward about sexual immorality. “But among you, there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people." One definition of sexual immorality is sex with someone who is not your spouse. Another term for this behavior is adultery. You can call it "swinging" or having an "open marriage," but it is a sin according to the Bible. When people make excuses for the act, it may make them feel better at the time, but they know in their hearts that sex outside of the marriage is damaging.
People are deceived.TV shows and websites love to glamorize sex outside of marriage. Many people think as long as they aren’t physically touching someone other than their spouse, they are not being unfaithful. But the more you commit visual adultery, the more likely you are to end up engaging in an open marriage. Jesus said, “But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." Not many today preach on sin and the consequences of our actions because this would reduce revenues streams for the church. Because we are not open to hearing our own faults and sins, we are being deceived.
People don't guard their hearts.Webster’s Dictionary defines adultery as “Voluntary sexual intercourse between a married man and someone other than his wife or between a married woman and someone other than her husband.” Satan wants us to become out of balance so we drift further away from God and His mission. As recorded in Romans 10:17: “Satan immediately comes and takes away the word which was sown in them.” We need to also pay attention on how the devil uses conditions to trick us, even if it seems like it's inoffensive.
It's selfish.Let's get honest and admit consenting to adultery and calling it "an open marriage" is self-centered and parsimonious. You don't have to be a believer figure this out. Author Jessica Burke said sex is important to marriage "But good sex does not make a good marriage. Good sex is the result of a good marriage. Sex is unique because of the way it bonds two people together physically in a vulnerable and intimate way." She was right, sex is part of the relationship, but it is not the only critical element. What about fidelity? Isn't this important? We can't just mold marriage into what we demand it to be. "If we redefine marriage, we redefine family. Everything that broadens the definition of marriage and family into nothingness takes us a little closer to eliminating the foundation so significant to our existence," she added.
Slap whatever label you want on it, friend, but an open marriage is a sin and it doesn't matter how many Scriptures you erroneously try to back it up with. Pray and allow the Lord to minister to your heart.