Anyone going through a divorce needs to focus on what’s ahead of them, and that needs to be a goal. Maybe you went through infidelity, abuse, financial or trust issues that eroded your relationship over time. Regardless of the reason for this new journey—you can embrace it and find love again.
There needs to be healing, forgiveness, and logic for a new chapter.
Be honest with yourself, and work on areas in your life that need healing. Take the time to reassess priorities, get organized, and seek support with a group. During a divorce people go through the pain of being detached, Psych Central’s Robert Stone wrote, and this attachment, when broken--leaves many people feeling devastated.
“Establishing and maintaining attachment is the most crucial thing at the earliest point in life; without it, we would have died as an infant. Even now, as adults, any threat to emotional attachment feels highly upsetting and dangerous. We can feel like we are dying emotionally, like there is no more life in our life.”
When we experience this void there is a tendency to jump right back into another relationship, which could be counterproductive in the long run. There is more to you than being married, and once we are whole, then we can enter the arena of finding a new prince.
How can we accomplish this?
1. Remember that moving into the future needs to be your goal. You have to know your value, and learn how to love yourself again.
2. Start networking and creating new relationships. Attend festivals, find hobbies, and get back out there. Let your friends know you are ready to fine love again, and are open to suggestions or blind dates. Try online dating with a reputable site to get an idea of what is out there, and if it’s for you.
3. Remember there is no time frame on when you have to start dating again. We need to let go of the past in order to find our fairy tale life. There are many success stories of people who found love again, became step parents, and are flourishing, so can you.
“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” -E.M. Forster