Infidelity is one of the worst things that can happen to a marriage. It destroys relationships, particularly the trust you had in your partner and the trust in the future of your marriage. The betrayal of one partner in a marriage can bring down your whole world. Cheating violates everything you’ve built with your partner in such a personal way. Many of us who have been a victim to an adulterous affair did not see it coming. It can blindside you and before you know it, you don’t know if your marriage can really survive. There’s no doubt about it, infidelity affects marriages in the worst way possible. There may seem like all is lost after a marital affair, but there is hope. Some marriages do survive infidelity and ultimately work together to bring the love back into their marriages. It’s not easy. It will take a lot of work, but couples who are committed to working together and are willing to leave their egos at the door can make it through. Here are seven signs your marriage will survive infidelity.
You Make Choices That Are in the Best Interest of Your Marriage
Some of the decisions you make in your marriage have the power to make or break your relationship. Couples that survive infidelity are ones that make decisions that are in the best interest of their relationship. They are consciously making the effort to better their lives and save the relationship. If you find yourself in a questionable situation, or having thoughts that might take you away from your marriage, you have an important decision to make. Hopefully, you will make the conscious choice to stay on track and do what’s best for your relationship. If you don’t, you will find yourself in a heap of trouble time and time again, and before you know it, making a decision that will completely derail your marriage.
You Keep Communication Open
Couples that survive infidelity make sure they’re openly communicating with their partners. They make sure the space is one where they both feel they are being respected and can openly express their thoughts and feelings. They let their partner know whatever’s on their mind regarding their relationship and hopes and dreams for the future. These couples also don’t keep secrets from each other. It’s important that you don’t hide things from each other. Keeping secrets about even the smallest things makes it easier to keep the big issues quiet too. Keeping secrets of any kind is the first step towards damaging a relationship that used to be strong. Clearly identify your unmet needs or concerns to your spouse. If you are feeling like love or romance is missing from your relationship, it’s important that you communicate this with your partner too. If you’re passive or quiet about what you’re feeling, it’s easy to start making things all about you. Remember, marriage is about partnership.
You Prioritize Quality Time With Your Partner
All people have a deep need to be loved, wanted and cared for. A couple’s mutual dependence on each other is associated with happy and healthy marriages. The most successful and happy people are the ones that involve people with solid relationships with their parents, siblings and spouses. Making quality time with your partner is imperative. Date nights should be a part of your regular routine. They don’t always have to be over-the-top romantic or overly planned either; just focus on having fun together. Focus on what you love about each other. Focus on trying new things together. Focus on conversation. Focus on getting to know each other in a whole new way. If you find yourself drifting apart emotionally, time to schedule date nights and dive in head first.
You Discuss Boundaries
In order to protect your relationship from infidelity, you should set guidelines for what fidelity in your marriage entails. How do you define cheating? Does flirting count as cheating? Are you uncomfortable if your partner is very close with members of the opposite sex? If they spend an extended amount of time talking with that friend, do you trust that it’s only a friendship? It’s imperative that you discuss your boundaries in a relationship. It’s also important for you to make sure you both want fidelity in your marriage. Don’t assume walking into the relationship that your partner is on the same page with you or desires the same thing. Too many people don’t ask these important questions and end up in a world of trouble.
You Avoid Temptation
Couples that survive infidelity avoid compromising situations. The last thing you want to do is find yourself alone with the object of your lustful desires. If contact with that person is a must, then make sure it is always in a public space and others are around. Do not place yourself into a corner where further action is possible. You might think you’ll have no problem turning anything down if it shows up, but once you’re already in the situation, it’s incredibly easy to keep going with the flow – a flow that might lead to a mistake that ends your marriage. It’s also a lot easier to fall into this trap when you already feel like there are areas that are lacking in your marriage. Next thing you know, you’re justifying your decision to cheat. Before you find yourself in a tempting situation, it’s best to avoid those situations completely.
You Are Vulnerable With Your Partner
Opening up to a partner can make us feel vulnerable and exposed, but it is the most important ingredient of a trusting, intimate relationship. For a relationship to be balanced, partners must be able to depend on one another and feel that they are needed and appreciated for the support they give. While vulnerability is often seen as a weakness, it’s actually a strength. On top of being vulnerable, it’s important that you’re honest with yourself about your weaknesses. If you’re in a relationship and know that when you go out to the bar with your friends, you lose all inhibitions, don’t let yourself drink enough to get to that point. When you play off your weakness as just harmless things that happen, you’re more likely to easily write off excuses for further indiscretions.
You Both Talk to Friends Who Will Hold You Accountable
If you or your partner had issues with being faithful in the past, you should surround yourself with friends that will hold you accountable – the ones that can also help you through. These shouldn’t be people who will agree with everything you say just to make you feel better about your actions or encourage you when you’re in a tempting situation. These friends will be honest with you, even when you’re in the wrong in a situation with your partner. These friends will encourage you to make the right decisions when it comes to your marriage. If you’ve fallen short, you have to accept responsibility for what you did. These friends aren’t yes men. They will encourage you to be honest with yourself. Ultimately, they want the best for you.
Remaining faithful in marriage may seem easy, and in some cases it is not much of a concern. Many couples think that their marriages are safeguarded from adultery, but infidelity can creep in and damage any marriage. Just when you think your marriage is safe from adultery is when you may be the most vulnerable. If you are practicing these things, they will go a long way toward protecting your relationship. It is worthwhile to take the time each day to think about your relationship and how to maintain it intact fully. It’s important that you establish boundaries to protect your marriage.