6 Important Lessons About Infidelity From the Bible

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Adultery is one of the most common and damaging causes of marriage breakdowns. The act of infidelity doesn’t just show a lack of commitment, but also a betrayal of the vows that husband and wife agree to uphold throughout their marriage. We know that adultery is a huge attack on marriage because Scripture tells us this. In the Old Testament, God deemed adultery a sin punishable by death. According to the world, infidelity isn’t a severe offense and the consequences aren’t that severe, but the truth is cheating on a spouse can ruin marriage. It can damage marital relationships, family bonds and friendships to a point beyond repair. The damaging effects of infidelity aren’t limited to the innocent parties either. Those committing adultery suffer its ramifications too. While Christians and non-Christians regard infidelity as morally wrong, it is still a common sin among married couples. Often, when people think of infidelity, they turn to acts of physical intimacy, but it goes way beyond this. The truth is no one is immune to temptation. It’s important that always stay in close relationship to God, so that He strengthens us to resist temptation. We do this by staying close to God’s Word and His Will related to marriage. Here are six important lessons about infidelity straight from the Bible.

It is One of the Most Condemned Sins in the Bible

Infidelity or adultery is one of the most frequently and severely condemned sins in the Bible. Adultery is mentioned 52 times, including in the Ten Commandments, all four Gospels, and ten other books of the Bible. Only the sins of idolatry, self-righteousness and murder are mentioned more often. Infidelity is devastating to a marriage. There are many reasons why sex happens outside of marriage. Some people get trapped in affairs to give a conscious or subconscious “wake-up call” to the spouse. This might happen if your spouse has a different kind of lover outside of the marriage, such as a consuming career. Another reason some people get wrapped up in affairs is to inflate a bruised ego. You might want to get back at your spouse for something he or she did that hurt you rather than offering forgiveness and dealing with the root issue. Then, there are the friendships that get out of control where one thing, leads to another thing. Each of these scenarios is problematic and not God’s intention for marriage.

Adultery Can Take Place in the Heart

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Scripture tells us, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:27-28). From this passage we know that adultery can take place within the heart and mind and is just as sinful as an outward act. Sometimes people get fooled into believing that this form of adultery isn’t as bad because it doesn’t directly impact families, friends and other people as much as a physical act, but it is still an attack on marriage and a sinful affront to the holiness of God. This also applies to the prevalence of pornography in society. While people think it’s a victimless offense, the damage pornography does the heart and those involved in marriage are just as devastating.

It is a Sin Against God and One’s Spouse

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Infidelity is not only a sin against one’s spouse, but also an attack on the sanctity of marriage. Adultery can cause great chaos in the lives of so many people. But even more importantly, infidelity is a sin against God. The reason these things occur in the first place is because of sin. Humans have decided that their way is better than God’s way. Humans have decided that fulfilling their own needs and desires is more important tan obeying and glorifying God. That’s why it’s so important to be rooted in God’s Word so that we are constantly in tune with the way that God sees it. If we don’t line up our views with God’s views, it’s easy for sin to take place in our marriage.

There Are No Exceptions

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In the Old Testament, adultery was understood as sexual relations between a married (or betrothed) woman and man other than her husband. It was therefore a sin against the husband. In the New Testament, Jesus extended the definition of adultery to include sexual relations between a married man and a woman other than his wife. Jesus said, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery” (Mark 10:11-12). People often wonder if an exception is allowed in cases where the spouse cannot or will not have sex, or if the couple is separated, or for other reasons. However, the Bible doesn’t mention any possible exceptions. Therefore, as long as a couple is legally married, sex with anyone else is considered adultery.

Adultery is Grounds For Divorce But Doesn’t Require It

The Bible mentions that adultery is grounds for divorce but does not require it. In many cases, the husband and wife can be reconciled and the marriage saved after adultery. It is not a sin to continue to live with and have sex with a spouse who has committed adultery. While there are a number of reasons for infidelity, the majority of the cases occur because of a need to be emotionally connected. Human beings have a deep-rooted need to be wanted, needed and understood. Ideally, this need is met in a marital relationship. However, if it isn’t, a spouse may look for emotional or physical fulfillment elsewhere, which results in marital infidelity. God designed sex to be enjoyed within a committed marital relationship. When it is removed from that context, it not only perverts its use, but also limits its enjoyment. Sex involves a level of intimacy that’s not possible in any other human relationship.

This Sin Can Be Forgiven

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It’s important to remember that marital infidelity, like all sins, can be forgiven. The adulterer or adulteress is not beyond the reach of God’s grace. As the sinner repents and God forgives, the betrayed partner is also obliged to forgive. Jesus said that if we don’t forgive the sins of others, our own sins will not be forgiven (Matthew 6:15). While forgiving and forgetting is not instinctive or easy, God’s grace is always sufficient. Even though God will forgive adultery, the damage it causes can’t be undone. While marriages can last after a partner has been unfaithful, the impact the infidelity had on the relationship continues to last. Be mindful of your actions with others outside of your marriage. They do have consequences.

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Scripture has a lot to say about infidelity and for good reason. Whenever a spouse is unfaithful, it can literally rip the heart out of the other spouse. Nothing can feel so terrible as the feeling of being betrayed physically or emotionally by your spouse, the one person you are supposed to trust and love more than anyone in this world. Remember, God says that once a man and a woman marry, they become one flesh. Jesus says, “So they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate” (Matthew 19:6), Marriage is a beautiful bond that we should never let be broken. If both you and your spouse truly love, care for each other and walk in the spirit, and Christ is truly at the center of your marriage, it will likely last until death.