6 Dumb Things Keeping You From Healing After Divorce l Tips on Dealing With Pain l Help After a Divorce

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Dealing with a divorce can really wreck your world. You need to be patient with yourself as there are no magical solutions except time. But hiding in your house will not work either because you need to live your life and by not living it, you will remain in a rut. If you're still feeling guilty about getting a divorce, know that God loves you. The recovery process may not be easy but it is better than remaining in a dark place. Permitting painful experiences to simmer in our lives will lead to resentment and this makes life even more miserable! The good news is that we can recover and grow through this process even though we feel splintered. You don't have to stand in the way of your healing any longer during this trial or any other difficulty. Consider these 6 things keeping you from healing after a divorce.

Start to Volunteer

Volunteering is a great way to get your mind off yourself. Work at a soup kitchen, at a homeless shelter, support other divorced people or help out at your local church. When you see the needs of others more than your own, it will make you feel better about things in your own life and allow you to heal as well. The Bible warned us about being selfish. Philippians 2:3-4 explained to "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others." Another good attribute in serving others is it can expand overall happiness. You can make this part of your new chapter of healing because serving others helps to get out of your own head.

Letting Go of Anger

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When we hold onto hatred we will never experience harmony in our lives. "People who are constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments haven't learned how to constructively express their anger,” the American Psychological Association explained. One way to deal with anger in a more tangible way is to rage about it on paper and not people! Go with it and free write about how you're enraged over the loss of the marriage or that your friend's comments were beyond bewildering at lunch. Writing is powerful as it releases anger in a healthy way without you hurting other relationships or your reputation. Release your anger by talking with a therapist if the broken relationship has you in knots. Holding onto anger will keep you frozen in the past.

You Refuse to Have Confidence

Remember what James 1:2-4 said. "God Consider it pure joy, my brothers (and sisters), whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." You need to press on if you are going to heal, but you need to believe this! Many people miss out on a fantastic life for themselves because they played the victim. Well, turn this around and decide to become the victor! Try reflecting on God's promises in exchange for the disappointing thoughts or feelings. It is a matter of taking a step out of our comfort zones. Yes, we may fail, but at least we are moving forward.

You Go on the Rebound

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Protect your inner sanctum by refusing to take part in a rebound as they really are a waste of your energy. Guard against going on the rebound when you're vulnerable as it can be more damaging to your heart. "Rushing into another romantic relationship too soon can cause us to avoid facing the pain of our marriage breakup and then if we marry before resolving our past, we are destined to repeat it,"cbn.com suggested. Getting involved too quickly may lead to you feeling even more hurt as your mind may not be ready for another relationship. Use this time to become strong spiritually, mentally and physically before filling the hole in your life with a negligent involvement.