5 Ways Infidelity Destroys Marriages

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Infidelity is one of the worst things that can happen in your marriage. It is one of the main reasons that couples seek divorce. It destroys the foundation on which a marriage is built and can cause severe damage to the relationship. One of the big reasons why relationships struggle after the discovery that a spouse has been unfaithful is because it breeds a devastating amount of distrust and trust is sacred in all marriages. It also causes an incredible amount of grief, not only to the person who finds out their partner has been cheating, but also to the cheating party. Feelings of insignificance, anxiety and depression, mixed with frustration and anger can cause the relationship to spiral into a place of no return. A victim of an affair may even withdraw from those around them in order to avoid the pain of confronting the reality of their circumstances. While some marriages can survive infidelity and time can help the healing process, overcoming the pain and betrayal is tough and many couples don’t make it. Here are five ways infidelity destroys marriages.

Issues with Trust

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After infidelity strikes a marriage, the innocent party may have issues trusting again. Not surprisingly, not only will a victim of infidelity mistrust their partner sexually and emotionally, he or she might also begin to doubt them around others. In the wake of an affair, more and more lies come out and that makes trust very difficult. It then becomes easy to feel doubtful toward your partner in other aspects of life such as financing and parenting. Confidence will also plummet as a result of broken trust. The person who is being cheated on will suffer a major blow to his or her self-esteem. They may feel embarrassed and think they weren’t enough. They may even question their attraction, their intelligence and their personality which can bring them into an even deeper depression that will take them a long time to recover from.

It Causes Emotional Destruction

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Infidelity doesn’t just happen all of sudden. It is actually a result of an indifferent relationship. All relationships thrive off of mutual respect and trust, but infidelity completely throws the marriage off balance. When you discover your spouse has been unfaithful, it has a devastating effect on you emotionally. Cheating can create a level of stress and anxiety that can trigger an even bigger depressive episode. The cheating party often has a tendency to cast blame on the innocent spouse or spouses in order to throw off their own feelings of guilt. They play the game of making the innocent spouse the culprit. They spend so much time trying to convince friends and family that the innocent spouse caused the problems that led to their infidelity. This is turn cause even more emotional turmoil and destruction. They spend all this time trying to paint the picture of innocence, but they know better than anyone that this image is fabricated and can never be made into something sustainable.

Lives Are Affected

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Cheating not only destroys your marriage, it destroys the relationships around you. Cheaters victimize relationships with children, loving friends, other close family members, and themselves. Infidelity is not only an embarrassment to the cheating party but also the cheaters’ families. They often suffer from pain, embarrassment and awareness of community gossip. The effects of cheating on the spouse can be lasting and may forever change a person’s outlook on relationships and life. A second relationship or marriage could suffer repercussions stemming from the previous marriage if the victimized spouse is not healed. Many second spouse experience spousal punishment because of the errors of the previous spouse. They are often thought of as angry, bitter or mad when they’re still grieving emotionally.

Alienation of Family, Friends and Others

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Infidelity not only alienates you from your spouse, but it also alienates you from relationships that the couples have mutually. Some family, friends and acquaintance may choose not t socialize with the cheaters because they have sided with the innocent spouse, while others may choose to side with them. Sometimes, others will distrust cheaters around their own spouses or partners because of their adulterous reputations. The cheating part often attracts others like themselves or singles as friends which can be problematic. The couple may also exclude themselves from certain social circles which creates even more distance between outside parties. Once a person is labeled in a community as unfaithful, the cheating reputation may never disappear. It can take a lot of time even for outsiders to trust them again.

It Destroys Sexual Drive

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For some people, infidelity can destroy their sex life. If your partner has cheated on you, even if you are working hard to figure and rebuild the relationship, sex is often the last piece of the puzzle. At the time, you’re dealing with all sorts of emotions – depression, anger, betrayal – and that just kills your sexual desire. On the flip side, it can also increase a couple’s sex life but for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes, the innocent party will feel like they’re in competition for their spouse’s affection and want to win them back. This can lead to sex between the couple, following explosive arguments about the affair and vice versa. Sex in these moments can make an insecure relationship feel temporarily safe and intimate.