5 Essential Things to Do After Divorce to Jumpstart Your New Life

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Divorce is tough. It is one of the most painful experiences any family can experience. It’s not only the death of a marriage, but also the death of hopes and dreams. While divorce is very prevalent in our generation, the pain, discouragement and abandonment of it still hurts. Most people who are divorced didn’t plan for it or ever expect it to happen to their marriage. But there is hope and new life after divorce. It will require you to continue the hard work you’ve already been doing to set yourself and your children up for a successful post-divorce life. This transition won’t be easy. Even the idea that life after divorce could ever feel good may seem impossible right now. But you can find happiness and peace after divorce. There’s so much life ahead of you to call it quits and settle for being unhappy or miserable. There are a number of actions you can take that will help you form the foundation on which you can take to build a happy and successful life after divorce. Here are five essential things to do after divorce to jumpstart your new life.

Don’t Focus on What Your Ex is or isn’t Doing

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Focusing on your ex and what they are doing or not doing is not only unhealthy, but will also lead to no good. When you become fixated on their daily life, you will end up having daily collisions with unnecessary pain and suffering over and over again. If you’ve been divorced for years, it may be easier to not think about your ex. But if the divorce is fresh and kids and finances are involved, it can make this especially difficult. Instead of focusing on your ex, this is the best time to focus on yourself. This is the time to be selfish and be impressed in how you are doing. This is also the time to grow your awareness and analysis of yourself, rather than something else.

Make Your Health a Priority

When you find out your ex has moved on and begins talking or dating someone new, you probably won’t feel like you’re at your highest – you may feel unworthy, unattractive or even unlovable. As much as it hurts to confront, you two have a history and it’s difficult to think about someone you loved loving someone else. While it hurts, it’s important that you grieve the pain so you can accept the reality and move on. One of the best ways to cope when your ex has a new love interest is to take care of yourself. Start going to the gym again and put all the right foods back in your diet so you feel your best physically. Be gentle, loving, kind and compassionate to yourself. Don’t take your pain out on yourself by doing harm to yourself by overeating, drinking, drugs, sleeping around or using other unhealthy coping mechanisms. Crying is just as good as getting adequate rest and eating healthy foods. Be good to your body, your mind and your spirit.

Be Encouraged About the Future

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You should be living life to the fullest each day. You should recognize the wonderful out of every day that you can. Things may not seem wonderful right now, but start looking for what’s good about each day. One thing you can do to sort through your thoughts and remind yourself of the good in each day is to begin logging your thoughts. Write down what’s good about each day. This will remind you that there is still happiness and life in the midst of your pain. You may simply write down the sun coming out after days of pouring rain or listening to music on a light walk in the neighborhood. Happiness doesn’t have to be found in something big. It can simply be something you notice and appreciate.

Reconnect With Family and Close Friends

Divorce can bring all sorts of surprises, which includes how much it changes relationships. Ones you took for granted may collapse or end up being the foundation for your support. Mutual friends can be trickier and may end up choosing sides. The good thing is you’re in a position to make new friends or revisit old friends in the process. If you invested all your energy into your relationship, you may have isolated some of the people you were closest to, including family and friends. Some people may move on, but family and true friends will stick around and be there for you in ways you may not have imagined. You will have a new found appreciation for them and maybe Ben & Jerry's too.

Turn to Scripture

If you are going through divorce, turn to God and Scripture. The Bible offers comfort and hope during this difficult season. The healing or recovery process may not be easy but it sure beats staying in the valley of despair. Scripture will remind you that there is comfort, even in your suffering. Psalm 119:50 says, “My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.” In a divorce situation, loneliness can creep into your heart and mind. Yet, it is impossible to be alone and not lonely for those who seek their comfort from the Lord has made many promises to those who love Him and He keeps every last one of them. Search for His promises in the Bible and cling to them all day and night to bring you the comfort you need.