Adultery brings a painful avalanche of emotions for each spouse, beginning with the discovery of the affair. For the person who has been true to the marriage, it’s a feeling of betrayal and rejection. For the guilty party, there is humiliation, shame and embarrassment. Nothing brings more pain into a marriage than sexual violation of the marriage. At the time of discovery, the husband and wife are in different kinds of pain and are on different timelines regarding the affair: the adulterous spouse has been guarding the secret sometimes for months or longer, and now the fantasy has burst. But, with the ruthless breakthrough of reality comes a strange kind of relief. The burden of secrecy is gone. On the other hand, for the first time, the unsuspecting spouse is now beginning to deal with the reality that has been part of the adulterous partner’s life for a long time, and that can bring up an incredible emotional distress.