When we get married, our lives change forever. Nobody said marriage was easy. In fact, it takes a lot of work. A good husband is up for the challenge, a bad spouse won’t be. A good husband is committed to the marriage, through the good and the bad. A good husband is also committed to relationship success. The great thing is that we can do much to increase our chances of having terrific marriages. We can be in marriages that are fulfilling and exciting, rich with meaning, joy and love when we know what signs to pay attention to. What qualities and characteristics does the special man in your life display, good and bad? While there are many positive traits they may show you, they may also be showing you the opposite. It’s important that you watch this carefully. Here are nine types of men that make bad husbands.
A Man Who is Closed Off From His Partner
A good man is open and willing to be vulnerable with his partner. They are receptive to feedback, even when that feedback isn’t what they want to hear. A sign of a bad husband is a man who is closed off from his partner. He hides things and won’t open up when he is questioned, no matter the approach. When someone is open-minded and free-thinking in their relationship, they are better able to express their thoughts, feelings, dreams and desires with their partner. This level of transparency allows your spouse to not only trust you, but also know where you stand. Like perfect people, perfect marriages don’t exist, but if your man is someone who can talk about problems in the marriage, then your relationship is going to have serious issues.
A Man Who is Narcissistic
Narcissists are known to create confusion, chaos and conflicts. A narcissistic husband with a narcissistic personality will create turmoil on a regular basis and on purpose to keep you in a heightened state of anxiety. He will do this even when things are good so you don’t expect the relationship to go left or to be kicked to the curb. They will give their wives the silent treatment when they’re in one of their moods which will make them wonder what they did wrong. Creating chaos is also one of the oldest narcissistic tactics in the book, next to the silent treatment and is absolutely intentional. Everything that a narcissist does is done with the purpose of keeping you on your toes.
A Man Who Lacks Empathy
An ideal husband connects with their spouse on an intellectual, emotional and intuitive level. Another major sign of a bad husband is a man who can’t empathize with their significant other. Understanding is key in every relationship, especially marriage. When two people in a marriage understand each other, they become aware of the commonalities that exist between them and also recognize and appreciate the differences. If you are empathetic with your spouse, you communicate with feeling and with respect for your spouse’s wants, attitudes and values. Your partner feels understood and validated when they talk with you. If you’ve developed your ability to be empathetic, your spouse not only feels understood, but also loved.
A Man Who Doesn’t Work at Love
A good man knows that love takes work. A bad husband won’t put the necessary energy into the relationship to get quality outcomes. The truth is, marriage takes a lot of effort. Yes, we are tired. We are busy. Now add professional desires and commitments, children, money and other responsibilities. However, this isn’t an excuse for anyone to not put the necessary work into the relationship. Sometimes, it just doesn’t seem to be enough time or energy left. Regardless of what is going on in your life, a good spouse always has time for their partner. They know that love is a verb, not just a feeling, so it requires giving not just receiving. They are committed to making the relationship work, even when the chips are down. If we don’t find room for our spouses in our busy schedules, it’s very possible we will lose them.
A Man Who Doesn’t Actively Listen
A bad husband not only lacks the ability to communicate effectively, he also doesn’t listen. A man who doesn’t listen can break a relationship down in so many ways. Solid, healthy communication is essential in any relationship because it’s the pathway to intimacy. Women want to be heard in their marriage. When we talk and share our feelings, we feel closer to others and get our needs met. However, talking is only half of the equation. The other half is listening. Without the capacity for good listening, communication will break down. A good spouse actively listens to their partner, and is engaged when their partner is expressing a concern or need. When there’s something they want to communicate to you, you stop whatever you’re doing to give them your gull attention. Even if there’s a point you want to bring up when they’re talking, you make it a point to not interrupt your spouse so that they are truly heard.
A Dishonest Man
Dishonesty is a big sign of a bad husband. When honesty is missing from the relationship, it’s missing a key foundation – trust. A good husband realizes the importance of honesty in a marriage. Honesty builds trust between people. Dishonesty does the opposite. Deception can be extremely destructive. It confuses the other person, betrays their vulnerability and can mess up their sense of reality. Even in painful situations such as infidelity, the blatant deception involved is often equally, if not more hurtful than the unfaithful act itself. A good spouse believes integrity comes first and there are no discrepancies between words and actions. This goes for verbal and nonverbal communication. Being open and honest in our marriage means we really know ourselves and our intentions.
A Man Who Doesn’t Value Intimacy
Healthy relationships thrive on intimacy and a good husband values it in their marriage. A bad husband doesn’t focus on the needs of their partner but their own needs first. Regardless of whether it’s a physical intimacy or emotional intimacy, your relationship will break down without it. A good husband is responsive on many levels: physically, emotional and verbally. They are personal, acknowledging and outwardly demonstrative of feelings of warmth and tenderness. They are open to giving and receiving affection. If you can be physically and emotionally intimate with your husband, you are setting up the foundation for a long relationship with your partner. Without the emotional and physical bond between partners, there’s nothing to hold onto when things get rough and both partners find themselves feeling as though they’ve got no anchor to keep them safe when things get rocky.
A Man Who Doesn’t Compromise
We’ve all heard the saying, it takes two to tango and that couldn’t be truer. A marriage requires give and take. A good husband is willing to compromise things to make their partner happy but a bad husband is unwilling to put his wife’s needs first. For example, a compromising spouse may hold off on a night out with friends if they know their spouse isn’t feeling well. Compromise doesn’t mean that you don’t have a backbone or that you always bend to your partner’s needs. It also doesn’t mean you have to always compromise. Ultimately, compromise shows your spouse that they are your number one priority. When you do this, they may feel more inclined to compromise too.
A Man Who Doesn’t Respect Your Independence (or Lacks Their Own)
Maintaining individuality is critical to establishing a long-lasting, healthy relationship. There should be equal efforts between attending to oneself and making the relationship work. A good spouse values their partner’s interests separate from their own. There are many men who are insecure who aren’t ok with relationship independence. This can point to bigger issues down the line. A good husband is supportive of their significant other’s goals in life and their individuality. They are also sensitive to their significant other’s wants, desires and feelings, and believe they are equal to their own. A good spouse is also respectful of their partner’s distinct personal boundaries, while at the same time remaining close physically and emotionally.
There may be no such thing as the perfect partner, but an ideal partner can be found in someone who has developed themselves in certain ways that go beyond looks, charm and success. A good husband is committed to a long-lasting marriage and is willing to do whatever it takes to keep their partner happy. Make sure these qualities are in place for a healthy relationship.