7 Signs You’re in a Band-Aid Relationship

Unsplash

Many of us have encountered band-aid relationships at least once in our lifetime. They’re those kinds of couples who stay together and claim that they’re in love even though they don’t necessarily act like they’re in a relationship with each other. They claim to be together even when all the signs point towards their incompatibility. Sound familiar? Band-aid relationships are what you get into to cover a void, hurt or lack in your life. Generally, these sorts of relationships can be good and make you happy, and some relationships can bring a healing aspect to your life. However, if you don’t resolve to make your voids, hurts and pains known to God, the bandage can only do so much. A bandage covers a wound and keeps it from infection. However, a bandage can get dirty, wet, lose its adhesive, etc., leaving you at risk for infection. We may think the bandage is doing all the healing when it actually has the potential to make things worse. Here are seven signs you’re in a band-aid relationship.

You Don’t Really Discuss Your Feelings With One Another

Shutterstock.com

Communication and openness is important in any real relationship, but when you can’t ever find common ground, there’s a problem. In a band-aid relationship, there’s generally at least one person who feels like they can’t speak freely or has to compromise a part of themselves in order to make things work. If you’re not comfortable communicating your concerns or don’t feel understood when you do, the relationship is in serious trouble. It’s significantly unhealthy for couples to be secretive. You can’t afford to be keeping your feelings from one another especially when your feelings are directly tied into the state of your relationship. If you don’t feel free to open up to one another, then you’re not in a real relationship.

You Act More Like a Single Person Than Someone Who is in a Relationship

Shutterstock.com

There’s no denying that a person always makes a significant life change when transitioning from single life to relationship life. But if you’re essentially still acting the same way and going about your everyday life as if you were still single, then chances are you’re stuck in a band-aid relationship. You are only in a relationship by name and not by actions or feelings. You also don’t include your partner in get-togethers with family and friends because you subconsciously view them as a temporary fling. If you’re having a short-term fling, you figure, “what’s the point of family introductions when I know this isn’t going to last?” You don’t view the relationship as lasting.

The Same Issues Keep Resurfacing

Shutterstock.com

Are you constantly arguing with your partner about the same issues over and over again, with no sign of a clear resolution? If you find yourself in this place, this is a sign that you’re not content in your relationship and may even be carrying unresolved feelings from previous relationships. There may have been a time when you tried to work on the relationship but these days, you’re more inclined to shrug off your problems, this is a huge red flag of a band-aid relationship. It might seem like you’re just compromising by not bringing it up, but when you don’t express your wants and needs to your partner, you are creating a win-lose situation and it will slowly build up resentment between you. This warning sign shouldn’t be ignored.

You Have a Difficult Time Describing Your Relationship to Others

When your family, coworkers and friends ask how the person you’re talking to is doing, you smile and say “good!” and then you leave it that. That’s a subtle red flag that something’s amiss. When you’re in a healthy relationship, you’re excited to talk about your partner with others. You should have strong enough feelings about your partner and relationships that it’s easy to describe when someone asks about the two of you. If you are struggling for words and answer by saying things like, “he’s nice,” “she’s good,” that’s a sign you’re in a “this will do for now” situation.

You Are More Motivated by Not Being Single Than With Being in the Relationship

Shutterstock.com

You don’t really care about being in a relationship as much as you care about not being single and alone. You would rather be in a non-working relationship than live as a single person. That’s the wrong mindset and motivation to have when getting into a relationship. You always have to be motivated by the right things in a relationship and that means it can’t be just because you’re afraid of being single again. In these types of relationship, you can never seem to find happiness. While you can’t rely on relationships to be your sole source of happiness, it doesn’t mean that your relationship shouldn’t be helping. Your relationship should still be adding value to your life, and if it doesn’t, then it’s probably a band-aid romance.

You’re in Love With the Future Relationship, Not the Present One

Shutterstock.com

If you find yourself thinking things like, this relationship will feel better when this or that future event happens, or this relationship could be better if my partner changed this or that about themselves, it’s a bad sign. Many times, we may stick with the person and play the waiting game because it’s honestly much more comfortable than leaving. Many of us are afraid to admit that we’re deathly afraid of being alone and not having someone in our life. Fantasizing and imagining the future with a person we already know is less scary than imagining it with someone we don’t. You should love the person you’re with and feel good about yourself when you’re with that person, not love the person we dream about them being.