6 Signals Your Relationship is Out of Balance By Colleen Sheehy Orme l Relationship Advice l Tips on Relationships l Ways to Improve Relationship

It is often said that life is about balance. It stands to reason, therefore, that relationships must also need balance. Of course, occasionally, even the best of relationships may lack it. However, if it is a continued status of extremes then a union may lack prolonged success. Relationships are a marathon and not a sprint. One partner can’t constantly consume the other or the team will lose. It is impossible to play a baseball game alone. Each player must take their unique position and possess a team mentality. The field must be balanced. If your relationship is unbalanced, stop believing that you are "taking one for the team." Quite the contrary, you are really ‘benching’ yourself in the game of relationships.” Here are six signals that your relationship is out of balance.

Losing Yourself

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You are gaining weight, losing energy and losing interest in things you once loved. Another sign of imbalance in a relationship is drastic changes and/or departures in who you are as an individual. One person feeling that they are carrying the majority of needs and /or burdens in a relationship can lead to internalizing that extreme and it coming out in different ways, shapes or forms. It could be weight gain. It could be a subtle loss in energy from feeling overwhelmed. It could be less interest in hobbies, entertaining, or things that take extra effort. It is less of a focus on one because the other individual is pre-occupying most of the relationships energy.

Self-Responsible

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You are remaining self-responsible while the person you are married to is not. This is a relationship with someone who needs to be prodded or reminded about basic responsibilities of day-to-day life or the required maintenance of the relationship. This is also an obvious imbalance. If one of the partners is mature and self-responsible and the other is more immature and lacks self-responsibility than it knocks the relationship out of balance. It is not an equal partnership if one must constantly be reminded to pick up milk, pay the bills, get somewhere on time, watch the children, etc. It becomes more of a parent / child relationship. It generally involves the individual which lacks self-responsibility labeling the other partner a “nag” and the self-responsible individual becomes an over-talker, a yeller, etc. in the frustration of overcompensating as the single mature, responsible member of the relationship.

Selfishness

Your household now revolves around the behavior or interests of your significant other. It is not the 1950’s anymore, when it was announced, “Dad is home,” and children were ushered to be quiet and dinner was on the table while dad chilled out from a hard day. Why? Because it’s now widely recognized that in fact, it is equally hard work to stay at home with children. A relationship should also not be centered around just the interests, likes, dislikes or habits of just one of the spouses. A relationship should be a combination of the best of two people. It is not balanced or selfless for one individual to disappear. It is actually a selfish personality that would let another diminish so that they could thrive.