6 Relationship Lessons From Samson and Delilah

Passion, desire, lust and romance surround the tragic love story of Samson and Delilah. This biblical tale begins with a prophetic announcement of a young man who will be mightily used of The Lord. His life will be dedicated to God and as a symbol of his Nazarite vow his hair should never be cut. Samson’s parents reiterated these promises to him, encouraging him in the way of The Lord but something went wrong. Lust developed deeply in his heart for the forbidden woman, Delilah.

The Bible says, “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls,” (Proverbs 25:28). God gave Samson the supernatural ability to exercise great physical strength over Israel’s enemies, the Philistines, but Samson fell short of mastering control over himself. There are many “Delilahs” in our life that drive us away from God’s plan. The relationship between Samson and Delilah perfectly illustrates what happens when we practice a life of disobedience and develop a worn down resolve to sin. The enemy will send “Delilahs,” which can be male or female, in at our greatest points of vulnerability to tempt us with unfaithfulness. Take their story as a cautionary tale and avoid these six relationship lessons the Bible teaches us.

"Self-discipline is the key to relationship success."

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Dating and relationships can be complicated if both individuals have not matured in the area of self-control. Don’t take short cuts when it comes to building character. Small compromises in the dark always eventually come to the light in a big way. This is seen consistently as a pattern in Samson’s life. He practiced a lifestyle of engaging in drunkenness and indulging fleshly pleasures, putting his confidence in his own strength and slowly disposing of the need of God’s ability. Samson teaches us that we should not leap into relationships before maturing in this area first. Otherwise, we are building a relationship on the unreliable foundation of sand.

"Listen to wise counsel."

God knows best what is good for us and therefore will always send wise counsel through those who love us in order to bring wisdom. Often if we’re in a relationship that’s not healthy or about to begin one that is going to lead us down the wrong path, God will give divine insight to parents, friends, and sometimes even total strangers to deliver warnings. Samson’s parents warned him against pursuing both the Philistine woman and Delilah, but each time he defied them. If we reject wisdom, then God has no other choice than to let us endure the consequences of the choices made. Wisdom will always knock at the door, but we must answer it in order to benefit.

"Believe when people show you their true colors."

Samson is an example of someone who has a poor judge of character. This could be because his own integrity was watered down, but this weakness caused him not to discern the deception of the women in his life. When Delilah asks him to share the secret of his strength with her, this should have caused him to ask the question, “What motive is prompting her to ask this?” Secondly, once he saw that she was using the information against him, he should have never trusted her with the truth. Getting to know someone in a relationship is a great time to ask questions, investigate their motives, and seek the Holy Spirit’s wisdom before allowing someone access to your heart. If Samson would’ve exercised this type of caution, he might’ve been able to see through Delilah’s schemes.

"Looks can be deceiving."

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The Bible says that it was Delilah’s beauty that enthralled Samson. Physical attributes are terrible factors to base a relationship on. In the beginning, a person’s looks may draw your attraction but it is their heart that should be tested and weighed before committing long term. Samson had made a practice of compromising his morals and principles, so by the time Delilah walked into his life, there were no guardrails to protect his heart. Her good looks were enough to give her access to the deepest part of him. Sometimes what starts off as something beautiful turns into something really ugly if we develop relationships that are only valuable on the surface.

"God never fails to reveal red flags."

There will always be red-flags and warnings in the beginning that we can either heed or bypass. Samson’s warnings came over time throughout his life and for every sign he ignored, sin gained more and more mastery over his life. God cares about our relationships. So we should ask the Holy Spirit to reveal information about people before we decide to join our lives with them. Being sober-minded and watchful is a good habit to practice because the enemy will always send “Delilahs” into your life when you least expect it. Delilahs can be both men and women. They can be a wrong job opportunity, a poor choice, or anything that detracts you from God’s good and perfect will for your life. Though God accomplished victory through his life in the end, bad relationship choices cost Samson his eyesight, his relationship with others, and caused an extended detour from his walk with God.