6 Old School Manners We Need to Bring Back

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The modern era has been described as a rude era. People seem to have no manners at all. Rudeness can be found around every corner. Politicians use their campaign advertisements to insult their opponent more than to emphasize their own opinions on policy. Social media is filled with endless tirades and vicious put downs. Even in every day interactions, few people apologize for banging into others or cutting them off. Basic civility seems to have been abandoned.

The first and main way to return to being civil is to begin practicing manners once again. Too many people hear the word “manners” and think of old fashioned, arbitrary and even stuck up practices that served no practical purpose, but manners are a large part of what keeps society civil. With the decline in manners, the ability of people to interact respectfully has declined as well. If people bring back some basic manners, however, people will become more polite. Here are six old school manners that need to come back.

Door Etiquette

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It is such a little thing, but it is so frustrating when someone right in front of you lets the door slam shut in your face. It takes no real time or effort to hold a door open for the person behind you. Still, people ignore those behind them and let the door close. In order to be polite, hold the door open when there is someone behind you. You do not have to stand back and let everyone enter before you do, but hold the door long enough for the person behind you to grab it when you enter a building.

If you get to a door and want to enter at the same time that someone else is leaving, let the person leaving go first. Letting people who are exiting buildings and elevators go first avoids the awkward dance when people try to force their way past each other. If everyone knows to let people leave first, foot traffic flows much more smoothly.

Speak Politely

Few things have become ruder than speech in recent years. People ignore each other and insult each other in equal measure. If society is truly to become polite again, people need to relearn how to have a civil conversation with other people. This requires people to actually respond to each other. When someone greets you, say “hello.” If they ask you a question, answer it.

Other basic speech manners include the little things that parents everywhere try to drum into children’s heads. Say “please” and “thank you” to people. When you are speaking to a stranger, introduce yourself and offer a polite handshake. If you are speaking with a coworker and your friend joins the conversation, introduce them to each other.

Perhaps the biggest thing that needs to change in modern speech is public swearing. It seems that it is impossible to walk through a shopping center without encountering at least one person who speaks almost entirely in expletives. As a general rule, if your grandmother would not approve of you saying it at the dinner table, do not say it in public.

Excuse Yourself

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Everyone yawns. Everyone sneezes. Everyone burps and farts. No one needs to be ashamed that they have ragweed allergies or that they have a bad case of the yawns. That does not mean, however, that people necessarily enjoy seeing and hearing either of those things. When you yawn, sneeze, burp, fart or otherwise make unavoidable bodily noises, say “excuse me.” Try to avoid making a production out of any of those sorts of things either. Cover your mouth when you yawn and stay as quiet as possible. If you sneeze, sneeze into your elbow or shoulder. There may be nothing you can do about such basic bodily functions, but there is no need to advertise them. Do what you need to do, excuse yourself and then go on about your day. If you can do that, most people will be content to ignore the fact that you had beans at lunch.

Send an R.S.V.P.

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When people plan large events such as weddings, they need to know how many people are going to attend. As such, they generally ask that those they invite R.S.V.P. to say whether or not they are attending. If you are given an invitation, send back and R.S.V.P. to confirm that you are coming or to offer your apologies that you cannot make it. Send that R.S.V.P. promptly as well. It does not take long to fire off a quick email or text saying that you will be there.

Some R.S.V.P.s will ask if you are coming alone or with a plus one. Whichever you choose, you need to stick with that decision. Even if you end up dating someone before the event, if you said you were coming alone, do not invite your significant other. Those hosting the event did not plan on that extra person.

R.S.V.P.s are not just for large events. If you are invited anywhere, let people know whether or not you will be coming. No one wants to suddenly need to cram an extra chair at a restaurant table because you did not bother to let anyone know you were coming.

Take Your Shoes Off

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When you enter someone’s home, take your shoes off. Even if your shoes look clean, they are covered in dirt, dust and germs from the ground. No one wants that tracked all over their floor. This is especially true if you are entering a house that is largely carpeted. That little bit of mud that you do not realize is trapped between the treads of your shoe can ruin a person’s carpet.

When you walk in the door, take a moment to take off your shoes. If you are not staying long because you are simply waiting for someone with whom you are carpooling, stand just inside the doorway. Many people have a doormat or small rug right inside the door for this very purpose. If you are invited further into the house and decide to oblige your host, leave your shoes by the door.

Put the Phone Away

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Most people today seem to have been surgically attached to their phones. They cannot bear to so much as leave their phone in another room. This behavior does not change for most people once they are out in public. Keeping your nose buried in your phone, however, leads to a great deal of rudeness. People who are supposedly spending time with friends sit scrolling through their phones instead of actually speaking with their friends. People who are texting while they walk bump into others or block the way when they stop.

Texting while in the car is also a big problem. Besides the massive dangers that come with texting and driving, staring at your phone even when the car is not moving is terribly rude. Plenty of people start playing with their phones or texting at red lights, but then are completely oblivious when the light turns green. As such, they end up holding up everyone else. If you have any desire to be polite, put the phone away when you are in public. That includes when you are talking on the phone. No one wants to hear your conversation. If it truly cannot wait, find as private as a place as possible and keep the conversation short.