Infidelity is lonely and isolating. When the affair comes out, people may vanish, either because you told them to stay away, they’ve chosen a side or you didn’t want anyone around during such a tough time. If you’re unfaithful, you don’t want to tell anyone for fear of being labeled every bad name in the book. It’s not dinner party conversation. If you’ve been betrayed you also don’t want to tell anyone for fear of the labeling or the pity or the sense of shame that betrayed spouses can feel, or the unsolicited advice many choose to give. The potential labeling from people who have the nerve to think you were a bad spouse or why else would they have cheated? Or, if you’d have just done this, then they wouldn’t have needed to go outside of marriage (hard, to believe someone would say this, but they do!). It’s also hard to find a safe place or group of people you can talk to and not be told what you should do or how you should feel.