Husbands should be careful that they don’t say things that will hurt their wives feelings inadvertently. Even without meaning to, there are subtle ways that husbands can send the wrong message to the woman they love the most. No matter how attractive you find your wife or how much you appreciate her efforts, you could be unintentionally telling her the opposite of your actions. Here are five things your wife hates to hear you say.
“I can’t do anything right.”
You’re probably saying this because you’re frustrated in the midst of an argument. You may also be saying this because you feel like she’s too critical. However, when a husband makes this statement, he is only showing her is that he won’t take responsibility or has trouble being critiqued. It’s important that you and your wife communicate well.
Constant arguing breaks down communication, a key element to any healthy relationship. Many arguments come up again and again for couples because the underlying issues are left unresolved. The more arguing that takes place, the less attractive both parties become, opening the door for other issues to enter into the relationship.
“This house is a mess.”
You may not realize it, but this passive aggressive statement is not only hurtful, but can also come off real judgmental. It also reflects the fact that you’re not involved in the process. You think you’re getting her to step her game up and clean the house, when in reality she is just building resentment towards you. Instead of focusing on what hasn’t been done, acknowledge her for what she has done.
“Why don’t you ever...?”
A compliment is one of the sweetest things a husband can give to his wife. Saying “why don’t you ever” is the furthest thing from it. It is easy to have a thought quickly pass about what hasn’t been done but there are constructive ways to address these issues. More than anyone else, wives need to feel loved and desired by their husbands. Your wife values your opinion and how you respond to the things she does is really important. This is why you should pay close attention to your wife and acknowledge her for her efforts. When you hone in on the little things that matter to her the most, she knows you are really paying attention to her and that you value her.
If you say this, you’re killing your wife’s self-esteem. Not only is it a messed up thing you to say, it also makes your wife feel unattractive and may make her feel like she doesn’t measure up. Your wife is the most important woman in your life. Complimenting a woman’s body is inappropriate unless she’s your wife. Noticing other women’s beauty is unavoidable, but for the sake of your wife, do your best not to gaze. No matter how subtle you think you’re being, your wife will notice when you’re checking out another woman. She sees you when you’re doing a double take when another woman walks by or being lightly flirtatious at the check-out counter. Wives know their husbands are wired to notice and appreciate beauty, but gawking is offensive. She notices, even when she doesn’t say anything. It deeply hurts your wife to sees you looking at other women and if you do it a lot, it can really wear at her self-esteem and trust in the marriage.
The way you comment about another woman in general could make her think you’re into her, and whether you are or not, that’s not a message you should be sending to another woman. Be aware that everything you say sends intentional and unintentional messages to your wife and other women. You don’t need to stop interacting with all women once you’re married, but make sure your interactions with them are appropriate.
“I’m not feeling you right now.”
Affection demonstrates that you care about someone and that you are willing to be there for them. When you show your wife physical affection, you are telling her that you care about how she feels and that you want to feel close to them. It demonstrates your bond with her. Telling your wife you’re not feeling her is one of the biggest signals that something is broken. Lack of affection from a husband can make a wife feel alienated and unloved. While it is normal to begin getting comfortable in your relationship, and showing less physical affection to your significant other, it is a bad habit to continue. Not showing your wife affection other than in the bedroom can lead her to feel unattractive and used. A hug or a kiss on the forehead can feel so much more intimate than sex. It’s important that you let your wife know that you value her not only for sex, but also that you find her attractive.
Your wife wants to feel loved in her relationship. She wants to know that the relationship is secure and much of this is built through her husband’s words and actions. She also wants to feel appreciated, respected and cared for. Many of these cues come from her husband. When a woman feels attractive and loved in her marriage, she will feel a complete sense of comfort in her relationship. Not feeling loved will be the subtext of every argument you and your partner will have and can completely derail your marriage.