No matter what stage of the relationship you are in, it’s always a good time to learn about your partner on a deeper level. Sometimes important questions will naturally arise in conversation, but other times, it’s necessary to ask your partner specific questions so that you can learn more about your partner. At the beginning of a relationship, it’s essential to get to know your partner. You want to get to know who they are at their core. That way, you won’t end up in a situation where you’ve been together for years, yet you feel like you don’t know them. Asking things about their favorite childhood memory and their general preferences or habits can give you a good idea of who they are as a person. Here are 21 questions for a new relationship that are sure to be conversation starters.

1. What’s your favorite nickname?

Asking about a nickname will not only give you ideas about what to call your new partner, but it will also likely elicit a story about the loved one that coined the name.

2. Describe your family dynamic.

Understanding your new partner’s family dynamic, or at least where they fall in the birth order of their siblings, will give you insight into who they are.

3. What’s your weirdest habit or quirk?

You might as well know what to prepare yourself for. Asking about a weird habit or quirk before it comes up will save you the surprise of discovering it on your own.

4. What were you like in high school?

While not all high school stereotypes are true, understanding what your partner was like in high school can give you a general idea of what they were like when they were younger.

5. What is your love language?

Love languages are super important to understand when starting a new relationship. Asking your partner about their preferred ways to give and receive love will help you support them in the relationship moving forward.

6. What is your conflict style?

It’s essential to understand your new partner’s conflict style so that you can navigate them effectively when conflicts do eventually arise.

7. What’s your astrological sign?

Though not everyone believes in astrology, it can be helpful to know your partner’s star chart so that you can compare compatibility and get a general sense of their personality.

8. What’s your most remarkable talent?

Let your new partner brag about themselves! Asking them about their most outstanding talent will give you insight into something they are proud of.

9. What’s your biggest weakness?

While building up your partner is fantastic, understanding their flaws is also essential. Asking this question will not only encourage them to reflect a little, but it will also give you a heads up about their shortcomings.

10. What are your expectations for the relationship?

In addition to light-hearted questions, it’s good to establish expectations for the relationship early on. This question won’t come up out of the blue most times, so it can be essential to ask your partner this question directly so that you are on the same page about moving forward or whether they want a long-term relationship.

11. Why did your last relationship end?

In a mature relationship, you and your partner should be able to talk about your past partners and relationships. Understanding why their last relationship ended can show you the deal breakers for your partner.

12. How would you describe your spending habits?

Financial disagreements are often the source of relationship problems. Understanding your new partner’s spending habits from the beginning will help you ensure you’re on the same page, or it will give you insight into your different spending habits. In the short term, it’s also good to know to help you better understand who’s getting the bill.

13. Are you a competitive person?

Many people have somewhat hidden competitive streaks that come out in full force during certain activities. Knowing if your partner is competitive or having them admit that they are competitive can prepare you when the streak comes out.

14. Have you ever cheated on a past partner?

This question might seem like a serious question to ask at the beginning of a relationship. While it is significant, it’s ultimately crucial to know what your new partner thinks about fidelity and cheating. If they have cheated in the past, they can explain the situation and promise it will not happen again.

15. What’s your dream vacation?

Who doesn’t want to plan out a dream vacation? Asking about your partner’s dream vacay will prompt a fun conversation and maybe even inspire your next trip.

16. Do you believe in karma?

This question is fun to ask if you are interested in your partner’s general life philosophy. Whether someone does or doesn’t believe in karma often provides insight into how they treat people.

17. Do you believe in an afterlife?

While this is a potentially morbid question depending on your partner’s response, it’s still an important question. It is good to know what your partner thinks about life on earth and the potential of an afterlife.

18. If money didn’t matter, what would you want to do for a living?

This question is always fun to ask to get an idea of what your partner is most happy doing. Or what their favorite hobby is.

19. What would your superpower be?

This might seem like a cheesy icebreaker question, but it’s a fun conversation starter. It will probably come up during one of those couples dating games that you will inevitably play together, so better to ask and to know.

20. What scares you?

There are so many things that scare people, and knowing your partner’s biggest fear will give you a good idea of how you can support them. You also want to see if they have a vulnerable side they are willing to expose so you can understand them better.

21. How do you feel about the concept of marriage?

There are so many different relationship types. Traditional marriage comes in many forms, and it would be beneficial to know where they stand. Discuss what it was like in their family and how they see their future commitment.

The start of a new relationship can be a fun and exciting time. It’s the perfect time to get to know your partner on a deeper level. If everything works out, these questions could lead to a long-term relationship. Asking questions is the best way to learn about your partner. It’s also a good idea because questions can be conversation starters. However, it’s best not to ask these questions all at once. That may intimidate your partner and scare them away.

Listen to what your partner is saying as you discuss each question. If you feel at a gut level that their answers are not in line with who you are, then be aware of the choices you make for the long term. On the other hand, if you can get into good, open and healthy discussions, keep being curious about each other so that your intimacy and time together continue to grow.

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