In personal relationships we look for our most compatible partner, that person with whom we somehow instantly make a special connection. The one you imagine you will be able to give the most to and who will, in return, give the most to you. We all dream of a soul mate. What we are looking for is a combination of energies that will not easily clash, that will knit together perfectly with our own energy. Finding your soul mate doesn't mean you live argument free for the rest of your lives, as each soul's character traits play a large part in determining how much peace and fulfillment there will be. But being with someone in a compatible energy group ensures that your relationship has a better chance of success.

Where one might be angry and upset, the influence of energy from the other will be appropriately calming and reasonable.

Where one might be nervous or afraid, the other would be strong and reassuring.

Where one might be easily irritated, the other would flow with the appropriate energy to deal most effectively with their moody mate.

Is it possible to find our soul mate? Of course it is. But it is easier for some soul signs than it is for others.

Fire signs, emotionally driven, will plow ahead if the mood takes them but will quickly move on to someone else if things don't go their way. Very tough if you're in a relationship with an Earth sign who is set on his course.

Earth signs, as the planners, the strategists, and the doers, have a natural inclination toward being constructive but can sometimes be too extreme, too demanding of themselves and others. This is hard on relationships.

Air signs, as the easygoing soul group, will have to feel that something is really important before they commit. They can often be swayed by a more determined and dogged soul sign, which sounds like it might make for a balanced relationship--unless or until our Air sign begins to feel unfulfilled or put upon.

Water signs go with the flow, which means that they are inclined to be committed to a relationship when it works, and to stray from that commitment when it doesn't work so well. Because they are a flowing and usually steady stream of energy, they are easy to be around, and this can be really good in relationships, particularly with Fire signs and Earth signs.

So from which energy source is your soul mate likely to come?

On the surface, especially if your idea of a good relationship is a peaceful and harmonious one, the relationships which seem most balanced are those between Air signs and water signs-one partner being fairly passive and easygoing, the other partner always ready to compromise, equals less of an inclination to clash. And even when these two souls do clash--and of course they do--both partners are more than willing to find common ground and a way to work things out that benefits them both. This doesn't necessarily mean they have a perfect marriage or relationship; it means only that the flow of energy between Air signs and Water signs is very compatible, therefore the chance for a successful match is higher than between other signs.

Now, I can hear all of you Fire and Earth signs groaning in despair, just as I did. Remember, my child and I are Earth signs too, so does that mean our search for happiness is fruitless? No, it does not, not at all, although it does mean that we have to take a little more care when choosing the partner we hope to spend the rest of our lives with.

Finally, we have the key. We don't have to take unnecessary chances- we have a means to really figure out our love life and find true happiness. We don't have to make the same mistakes over and over again. Our sons and daughters don't have to make hard choices or wonder what their chances of divorce or loneliness will be. The game of love is no longer hit-or-miss, a shot in the dark. No longer is love a game of chance.

Life is a juggling act, relationships take work, and however we do it, no matter how successfully, one way or another, most of us manage a reasonable balance in our lives. We make up for the imbalance of our personal relationships by putting our various energies into other areas. We may plow our energies into our work and find compatible people to be around who make us feel good. We may find like souls whom we can relate to and share our lives with, who fulfill our needs as we fulfill theirs.

Life is hard for many of us, and made more difficult by confused communications and misunderstandings, which happen all the time. One of the most exciting things for me about the concept of soul signs is that I feel as if we have been given a golden key to unlock so many questions about the mysteries of life. I feel as if we have been given the greatest opportunity to finally get it. To understand. We finally have the formula, and our chance of personal happiness is greater than it has ever been.

What an incredible gift.

Since the beginning of time, man.and woman.has looked for a suitable mate. Back then, the primary reason for getting together was procreation, the need to ensure the future of our human species. Of course, that is no longer a concern, as there are enough of us on this planet for our race to continue its existence at least until someone blows us all up. And that isn't going to happen for quite a while yet.

So, our reasons for wanting a relationship have changed, and now most of us look for a soul mate, our soul mate, that one person who will make all our dreams come true and make us happy for the rest of our lives.

Love is in the air, or so the song goes. So too the movies and thousands of romance novels-they all tell us that true love is ours, just waiting around the corner, and some of us, the lucky ones, will find it. Now if this is true, that we all do have a soul mate out there somewhere, why are they so elusive? The percentage of happy and contented relationships is low and getting lower by the decade. If we are to believe that each soul has its ideal mate as its destiny, I for one want to know what happened to mine!

John, I seem to remember, was my very first soul mate, and he truly was pretty wonderful. He was a Water sign, and was also from the same Extrovert energy source as I, an Old Soul. In fact, we were a perfect match. Of course, I was young, too young, only sixteen, and my father disapproved, so the relationship was doomed.

Then there was Andrew, my first serious adult soul mate. It was love at first sight. This was it, my heart sang out. I was so blinded by love, though, that I had no idea my soul mate already had a mate, that he was married. There was no doubt that Andrew was in love with me, as I was with him. There was no doubt that our relationship was meant to be-just not forever.

Playmates are also a type of soul mate. I use the term to describe those people we meet whom we connect to, have things in common with. They may in fact share our same energy and come out of the same pocket, but their influence on our growth process might be minimal, and noticeable only through the good experiences that we have. Still, in this role, when they touch even a small part of our spirit, they become important in the greater plan. We remember them. Our soul remembers them. I had a friend, Ann, who was definitely a playmate; chatting with her, having coffee, going shopping, meeting once a week for dinner really helped me at a time when my marriage was a disaster and I needed a friend.a playmate. Someone to talk to and hang out with. It eased my loneliness tremendously.

Then, of course, there is that person most of us think of as a soul mate: that one soul who is out there somewhere searching for us, even as we, often subconsciously, search for them; that soul who, when joined with us, will make us complete. Happiness, contentment, true love, boundless connectedness--we believe our soul mate will deliver all of this and more, and make our dream come true.

There was another kind of love song I was singing after Andrew, about broken hearts and love not meant to be. My life was in pieces, and I told myself that my quest for true love was over. I was not looking anymore. This love stuff was too painful. And I began to be happy in my solitude, really happy, burying my dreams and my hopes in my work. And it worked. I no longer hurt, I no longer cried, and for the first time in my life I discovered me and became truly content. I became my own soul mate, my own friend, able to fulfill all my important needs. But, then, you know what they say: When you stop looking, love looks for you.

Is your soul mate out there somewhere? For me there were at least a couple more mistakes waiting to be made. Or were these "mistakes" simply opportunities waiting to happen?

Grey Eagle tells me that there are three kinds of soul mates. There are those souls who are meant to come into our lives for the purpose of growth and learning, having decided before birth that this would be part of their earth-life experience. These souls are our helpmates, and are not necessarily romantic partners, although they can be. Other helpmates are our parents, our siblings, our friends, our children, and even those brief encounters that we sometimes have.when one soul touches the heart and soul of another, as happened to me just the other day when a five-year-old boy was introduced to me. In his shyness, he at first averted his eyes, but then turned, looked up at me from under his eyelashes, and gave me a knowing, sweet smile. That tiny smile, that knowing, connected with my soul and helped me confirm that my life was in place, and as it should be.

In all of the relationships we've ever had, whether with playmates, helpmates, or soul mates, there have been good reasons why we have been drawn to certain other souls, and good reasons why we are now apart. For those of you who have found your soul mate, your happy marriage, your fulfilled relationship, the reasons are clear: You are with a soul whose energy flow and soul sign is compatible with yours, and you were both mature enough to realize it. Not only were you meant to meet, you both had the right attitude and the maturity to work on and fix all those things in your relationship that were difficult.

Had I met John, or should I meet him at some future time, both of us more mature and worldly wise, the chances of a truly fulfilled and happy relationship are very high. Of course, when I say John, what I really mean is a Water sign, an Old Soul, who would be my most compatible mate and my best chance at happiness. This would be my soul mate.

Once you understand how different soul signs interact, you can see why some relationships do not work out no matter how hard you both try. It is simply a clash of energy, of two incompatible soul signs. No one's fault, not theirs, not yours. You are both just acting in character, driven by your own particular energy force. Each of us has the possibility of a good match, but we have to learn which soul signs are right for us and which are not. Then, of course, we have to have the wisdom and the maturity to know when to hold on and when to let go.

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