In personal relationships we look for our most compatible partner, that person with whom we somehow instantly make a special connection. The one you imagine you will be able to give the most to and who will, in return, give the most to you. We all dream of a soul mate. What we are looking for is a combination of energies that will not easily clash, that will knit together perfectly with our own energy. Finding your soul mate doesn't mean you live argument free for the rest of your lives, as each soul's character traits play a large part in determining how much peace and fulfillment there will be. But being with someone in a compatible energy group ensures that your relationship has a better chance of success.

Where one might be angry and upset, the influence of energy from the other will be appropriately calming and reasonable.

Where one might be nervous or afraid, the other would be strong and reassuring.

Where one might be easily irritated, the other would flow with the appropriate energy to deal most effectively with their moody mate.

Is it possible to find our soul mate? Of course it is. But it is easier for some soul signs than it is for others.

Fire signs, emotionally driven, will plow ahead if the mood takes them but will quickly move on to someone else if things don't go their way. Very tough if you're in a relationship with an Earth sign who is set on his course.

Earth signs, as the planners, the strategists, and the doers, have a natural inclination toward being constructive but can sometimes be too extreme, too demanding of themselves and others. This is hard on relationships.

Air signs, as the easygoing soul group, will have to feel that something is really important before they commit. They can often be swayed by a more determined and dogged soul sign, which sounds like it might make for a balanced relationship--unless or until our Air sign begins to feel unfulfilled or put upon.

Water signs go with the flow, which means that they are inclined to be committed to a relationship when it works, and to stray from that commitment when it doesn't work so well. Because they are a flowing and usually steady stream of energy, they are easy to be around, and this can be really good in relationships, particularly with Fire signs and Earth signs.

So from which energy source is your soul mate likely to come?

On the surface, especially if your idea of a good relationship is a peaceful and harmonious one, the relationships which seem most balanced are thosebetween Air signs and water signs-one partner being fairly passive and easygoing, the other partner always ready to compromise, equals less of an inclination to clash. And even when these two souls do clash--and of course they do--both partners are more than willing to find common ground and a way to work things out that benefits them both. This doesn't necessarily mean they have a perfect marriage or relationship; it means only that the flow of energy between Air signs and Water signs is very compatible, therefore the chance for a successful match is higher than between other signs.

Now, I can hear all of you Fire and Earth signs groaning in despair, just as I did. Remember, my child and I are Earth signs too, so does that mean our search for happiness is fruitless? No, it does not, not at all, although it does mean that we have to take a little more care when choosing the partner we hope to spend the rest of our lives with.

Finally, we have the key. We don't have to take unnecessary chances- we have a means to really figure out our love life and find true happiness. We don't have to make the same mistakes over and over again. Our sons and daughters don't have to make hard choices or wonder what their chances of divorce or loneliness will be. The game of love is no longer hit-or-miss, a shot in the dark. No longer is love a game of chance.

Life is a juggling act, relationships take work, and however we do it, no matter how successfully, one way or another, most of us manage a reasonable balance in our lives. We make up for the imbalance of our personal relationships by putting our various energies into other areas. We may plow our energies into our work and find compatible people to be around who make us feel good. We may find like souls whom we can relate to and share our lives with, who fulfill our needs as we fulfill theirs.

Life is hard for many of us, and made more difficult by confused communications and misunderstandings, which happen all the time. One of the most exciting things for me about the concept of soul signs is that I feel as if we have been given a golden key to unlock so many questions about the mysteries of life. I feel as if we have been given the greatest opportunity to finally get it. To understand. We finally have the formula, and our chance of personal happiness is greater than it has ever been.

What an incredible gift.

Since the beginning of time, man.and woman.has looked for a suitable mate. Back then, the primary reason for getting together was procreation, the need to ensure the future of our human species. Of course, that is no longer a concern, as there are enough of us on this planet for our race to continue its existence at least until someone blows us all up. And that isn't going to happen for quite a while yet.

So, our reasons for wanting a relationship have changed, and now most of us look for a soul mate, our soul mate, that one person who will make all our dreams come true and make us happy for the rest of our lives.

Love is in the air, or so the song goes. So too the movies and thousands of romance novels-they all tell us that true love is ours, just waiting around the corner, and some of us, the lucky ones, will find it. Now if this is true, that we all do have a soul mate out there somewhere, why are they so elusive? The percentage of happy and contented relationships is low and getting lower by the decade. If we are to believe that each soul has its ideal mate as its destiny, I for one want to know what happened to mine!

John, I seem to remember, was my very first soul mate, and he truly was pretty wonderful. He was a Water sign, and was also from the same Extrovert energy source as I, an Old Soul. In fact, we were a perfect match. Of course, I was young, too young, only sixteen, and my father disapproved, so the relationship was doomed.

Then there was Andrew, my first serious adult soul mate. It was love at first sight. This was it, my heart sang out. I was so blinded by love, though, that I had no idea my soul mate already had a mate, that he was married. There was no doubt that Andrew was in love with me, as I was with him. There was no doubt that our relationship was meant to be-just not forever.